^ because every 22 year old woman is completely identical...
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Originally Posted by JKam
Obviously some caution is granted but if you're in his shoes and asking that she gets counselling that's pretty insulting to her. It's up to HER to get counselling to see if it's a deeper issue, not his.
No one is saying forgive and forget everything. There's really nothing to forgive either. No one is saying to ignore it like it never happened but what can you do about the past? The only thing HE can do is support her and help her. It's on HER to fix her issues, not him.
If she ends up in a destructive spiral again, that's a risk he knew about before getting into this. Getting hurt is always a possibility in any relationship.
PLUS the source of her destructive behaviour looks to be shitty boyfriends and depression. If she's happy with OP then there's no destructive behaviour. Problem solved.
I think at the core we're saying the same thing just different interpretations..
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I agree, counseling over something like this would be a bit excessive. If every person who got drunk and slept around after a shitty relationship went to counseling nobody else would be able to get an appointment.
And yeah sure, there's a potential risk of this behavior happening again, but there's a risk of something triggering destructive behavior in anybody. There's inherent risk in damn near anything, but unless you want to play it completely safe and be forever alone, you do have to put yourself out there a bit, and you'll only ever get as much out of a relationship as you put into it.