[Amaru]

Fucked Sleep Syndrome (FSS) is a debilitating ailment that primarily affects 16-34 year old males, particularly post-secondary students of middle- and upper-class background.

There is no known cure for FSS.

You may have FSS if you identify with two or more of the following symptoms:

-Inability to attend optional social events with a start time before 11:00am;

-Inexplicable urge to support any legislation require a store or business to operate 24hrs a day (or remain open at least until 4:00am).

-inability to schedule an appointment without mentioning "afternoons are best for me";

-Inability to attend any class or other educational activity before 11:00am;

-extremely anxious about the rising of the morning sun, belief that daylight should be banned before 8:00, year round.

-uncanny ability to know what time the police "night" and "day" shifts end/begin in the morning.

-strange urge to cover all windows with a dark blind or light-blocking blanket;

-tendency to prioritize any employment opportunity offering flexible hours or an evening shift;

-friends and family consider you unavailable before 11:00am;

-profound, unshakable belief that 3:34am is the perfect time for driving on city roads;

-intense fear of any hotel with a firm checkout time before 12 noon;

-pushed to the brink of an anxiety attack when informed of a must-attend commitment scheduled to begin before 10:00am;

-inexplicable adoration of cultures that rise later and stay up later (ie. Spain, France);

-strong support for the "all citizens have a right to 24/7 public transit" movement.
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