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Originally Posted by stewie
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In 6 months I will have mobility freedom, but I'm also insecure about the large long scar across my head that goes into my forehead.
Sadly I'm insecure as is, I finally got invisalign this summer so I could have my perfect smile. I've lost 60lbs since 2 years ago when I was diagnosed with my condition - unable to work my very physical job, drive to the gym, make my late night binge eating trips to subway... So now I'm a skinny white guy with a large highly visible scar in a weird place, still can't drive, get to the gym etc.
Italian, 20+ cousins all within a 20 minute drive. We're all similar in age, and weddings are becoming the norm. I feel like I'm dragging behind and it sucks. With everything happening in my life right now, it a really depressing sad situation in my head. All my friends I've told about her say wtf is the matter with her and that since I'm her first long term boyfriend, she's going to be in for a rude awakening if she gets a new boyfriend in the future.
If so, any single ladies on here willing to take me on a sympathy drink at a pub?  or guys...a drink is a drink and a convo is a convo lol good way to vent lol |
First: stop comparing yourself to your cousins, or to anyone else for that matter. I went through a stressful period of feeling like I'm way behind the curve, because my friends have degrees and kids and I'm still painfully finishing my undergrad 10 years later, but I had to get over it and realize that we all take different paths in life. I have some wonderful friends who were able to tell me to stop comparing myself to other people and remind me that some people don't have kids until they're 40! And some people are 40 and still in school and having kids. Everybody does life their own way. Your cousins might be miserably divorced and paying child support by the time they're 40, so don't rush it and lock yourself down with a girl you may not be happy with down the road just because you're "running out of time". You're not, BTW.
Second: I can hear that there are a lot of self-esteem issues going on and you're probably going to want to deal with those BEFORE you start trying to date, because you'll be far less likely to settle for the first parent-hating, dog-loathing bitch who comes along, thinking that's all you deserve. A scar? big deal. Some may even be into that. Scars are pretty bad-ass (Tyrion Lanister, bitches!). It might take some work to get your self-esteem up, since it seems this has been a long battle for you. There are books that may help, or maybe you'd consider seeing a counselor for a period of time, if you can afford it. I'd highly recommend that, because all of the invisalign and weight loss in the world is not going to make you feel better about yourself if you have deep-seated self-esteem issues.
Third: Timeless advice - stop looking for a woman and focus on healing yourself and finding happiness in your own life. Women will find you. Take up some social hobbies or join some groups if you want to expand your social circle and increase your odds of meeting new people, but don't do it just because you're looking for a partner, find things you'll enjoy regardless.
That's way more advice than you need, probably, but I hate to see people who seem like decently good people sell themselves short. Enjoy your life, buddy, you sound like a great dude. A worthwhile partner will come along when you're actually ready for it (hint: you might not be yet).