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Pegacorn · 10-08-2014, 03:20 PM

I'd like to commend you on even considering this in as much detail as you have. A lot of people don't consider all of the angles and issues they may face and it's especially important when asking someone to uproot their lives, so good on ya for taking all of this into consideration. You've done a pretty good job of listing all of the issues that her moving here for you could present. It's a lot to ask of someone and you both have to be sure it's something she can handle, because you're right, not everyone can do that and if you end up being her entire support network and social circle, it might be an issue. xmisstrinh made some excellent points.

It sounds like you're just considering whether you want to continue the long distance thing at all. If you feel like this may potentially be the person you spend your life with and it will be worth the time it takes to make sure this is the right person and you can handle a long distance relationship for however long it takes to be sure, then go for it! I've seen these types of scenarios work out really well. Those people were a lot more sure than you, but maybe you just need a couple more visits. You'll really need to be checking in with her a lot to make sure you're both on the same page if things continue, so you know if you are both moving in the direction of wanting to spend your lives together.

It definitely sounds too soon to ask her to move here to be with you, since you seem so uncertain. I would definitely not move to another country for someone who says "I do like her, she is very talkative and friendly and we get along fine."....Not a declaration of love and commitment by any means. Unless your feelings change to "I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her" you really shouldn't be asking her to move here. Doesn't sound like you feel anywhere near that stage anyway and just aren't sure if you're wasting each other's time. Tough call, if you feel like it's a waste of time, then it probably is. If you feel like it might be a worthwhile risk, then it might be.

10-08-2014, 03:20 PM	#5
Pegacorn Wunder? Wonder?? Wander??? Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Homecouver Posts: 209 Thanked 181 Times in 76 Posts Failed 3 Times in 1 Post	I'd like to commend you on even considering this in as much detail as you have. A lot of people don't consider all of the angles and issues they may face and it's especially important when asking someone to uproot their lives, so good on ya for taking all of this into consideration. You've done a pretty good job of listing all of the issues that her moving here for you could present. It's a lot to ask of someone and you both have to be sure it's something she can handle, because you're right, not everyone can do that and if you end up being her entire support network and social circle, it might be an issue. xmisstrinh made some excellent points. It sounds like you're just considering whether you want to continue the long distance thing at all. If you feel like this may potentially be the person you spend your life with and it will be worth the time it takes to make sure this is the right person and you can handle a long distance relationship for however long it takes to be sure, then go for it! I've seen these types of scenarios work out really well. Those people were a lot more sure than you, but maybe you just need a couple more visits. You'll really need to be checking in with her a lot to make sure you're both on the same page if things continue, so you know if you are both moving in the direction of wanting to spend your lives together. It definitely sounds too soon to ask her to move here to be with you, since you seem so uncertain. I would definitely not move to another country for someone who says "I do like her, she is very talkative and friendly and we get along fine."....Not a declaration of love and commitment by any means. Unless your feelings change to "I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her" you really shouldn't be asking her to move here. Doesn't sound like you feel anywhere near that stage anyway and just aren't sure if you're wasting each other's time. Tough call, if you feel like it's a waste of time, then it probably is. If you feel like it might be a worthwhile risk, then it might be.