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I sounded a lot like OP when my first real relationship ended. I tried endlessly asking others what I should do. They all sounded like the above replies, and i didnt' wanna hear any of it.
Seriously, theses were my feelings dammit! and the only person I could share them with was now gone. I didn't know who to turn to for advise after 2.5 years of a shitty relationship.
But once I found my current gf, I finally found the enjoyment I was always looking for in the previous relationship. FINALLY I could lose my virginity, finally lose myself in someone who totally wanted every bit of my messed up self. I didn't think it was possible, but she was also a virgin at 20. boy we wasted many days just having sex...over and over and over again. It really made the wanting, waiting and suffering thru the shitty previous relationship for so long...seem kinda worthwhile in some strange way. I learnt a lot about myself, as well as the dating scene.
I'd never go thru that shit again, and i certainly hope I never have to again
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