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I agree with what westopher said, especially since you don't have a good gut feeling about the seller.
Most M shifters feel a little rubbery (and longish throws), but shouldn't be hard to get into gear. Sounds like the fluid hasn't been replaced, or there may be some other issue at hand.
When I bought my e92 M3, the seller was an older gentleman and he took good care of the car--I could tell that he really liked the car, based on how the car was treated and his knowledge of little things here and there. Having said that, I searched for a few months before I found the right car and seller. E46 M3s aren't super common, but they aren't super rare either. The right one will be out there for you.
And ditto on the PPI. Good luck with your search.
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