[El Bastardo]

The following is a submission from an anonymous Revscene member who requested a confidential post some time ago. Sorry to the OP. I've been busy striking oil, ranching cattle, and shooting pistols wildly into the air as we Texans do

I'm currently in my mid 20's. Just started a new career and getting my shit together as a person. I think I'm going in the right direction but currently don't amount for much (financial wise/assets) Due to the change in my career choice. I don't expect to make much for the next few years. Luckily for me, I currently live at home and have zero debt.

My girlfriend is her early 30's. She has made a career change in the past 1-2years but only really starting to establish herself now. Finance wise, she's made a few poor choices earlier in life and due to circumstance. She has quite a bit of debt and a family mortg (single daughter supporting her mom/dad)

Recently, I've been thinking about how we will be able to start a life together. Moving out, living together, kids, parents, money, and life style.

Moving out does not seem to be an option at this point. My currently income is no way close to being able to support a mortg. She currently is paying her own and chipping at her loans. This puts quite a bit of stress on myself because I've always had the thought in mind of moving out with my SO.

Kids. I am dead set on having kids. She seems indifferent but when we talk about it. She does mention shes getting older and it is harder on her body. Talks about the different risks. (Seems to hint at if I want them. You better knock me up soon)
Realistically. That won't be happening for at least another 3-4 years. Its just with timing of my age and career. I cant afford/nor really want kids at this point of life.

Both of us want our parents living with us. This is not going to fly with my parents. Nor do I agree with this. I need my space and don't want to live in a crowded house.
That being said. Her parents are getting fairly old (late baby). Due to her family circumstances. Their finances aren't the greatest either. I don't know at this point how things will work out here. It is quite complicated.

Life style. I hate to say it but I know if I decide to continue this relationship. There will be quite a financial burden put on me. There will have to be some sacrifice and my currently life style will probably be affected.

I'm not sure what to do at this point. I've brought this up earlier in the relationship and asked opinions of friends. At the time it seemed to be best to try things out and think about it later. In hind sight, I thought that was kinda stupid but went with it. Coming now. Its all just coming back in full force kicking me in the face. Making things worse because we've both developed even more feelings for each other. She doesn't seem to interested or wanting to bring up the topics but its something I need to get sorted personally.

In my point of view. If I stall this for any longer and for say we do break up. I cant help but feel like i've wasted a good amount of her "youth". I know times ticking for her. I don't want to end up changing my mind and putting her in a position. Which shes single and already past her prime. (sounds kinda bad but I'm just being brutally honest)

Honestly speaking. If she was a few years younger. I feel like none of this would be a problem but because of her age. I feel quite pressured to having a time limit on everything. (ex. ideally shes would want to be married 2-3years, live together for 1-2years, have kids, move back in with parents) This time line is a compress/shortest time span I can possible see these things happening. That to me would be considered rushing things.. Ideally for me I would like to spread it out a little more.

Those are the main concerns I have. Didn't bother including smaller details like if we were to get married. Where would we even get the money?

Maybe I'm thinking to far ahead? To me everything seems like something I should have a answer to. Its killing me inside not knowing. I don't want to just wait and see..

I'm planning to bring these topics back up after the new years. At this point I honestly don't know myself how things might go. It would be nice to hear a outsiders opinion on my situation.