[mr_chin]

Originally Posted by El Bastardo

Recently, I've been thinking about how we will be able to start a life together. Moving out, living together, kids, parents, money, and life style.

Moving out does not seem to be an option at this point. My currently income is no way close to being able to support a mortg. She currently is paying her own and chipping at her loans. This puts quite a bit of stress on myself because I've always had the thought in mind of moving out with my SO.

You haven't even gotten your career or a stable income, and you're thinking about this stuff? You need to chill and take it slow, especially in your mid 20's, you need to think about what's happening now. Don't do anything you can't afford.

Originally Posted by El Bastardo

Kids. I am dead set on having kids. She seems indifferent but when we talk about it. She does mention shes getting older and it is harder on her body. Talks about the different risks. (Seems to hint at if I want them. You better knock me up soon)
Realistically. That won't be happening for at least another 3-4 years. Its just with timing of my age and career. I cant afford/nor really want kids at this point of life.

Sounds like you want to commit to a relationship but not a child yet. The bold line is half true, you're dead set, but not right now. So basically, you're not dead set. In 3-4 years, you'll be, but not now. You should tell her that, to be honest and hopefully that will put the pressure off of you and she'll make her own decision.

Originally Posted by El Bastardo

Both of us want our parents living with us. This is not going to fly with my parents. Nor do I agree with this. I need my space and don't want to live in a crowded house.
That being said. Her parents are getting fairly old (late baby). Due to her family circumstances. Their finances aren't the greatest either. I don't know at this point how things will work out here. It is quite complicated.

Wait, what? Both of you want your parents living together... then you say you don't agree with it and want space. Stop worrying about the elders for now, and focus on your career and finance.

Originally Posted by El Bastardo

Life style. I hate to say it but I know if I decide to continue this relationship. There will be quite a financial burden put on me. There will have to be some sacrifice and my currently life style will probably be affected.

Unless she holds a knife to your throat, I don't see what sort of obligation you need to make that will affect your lifestyle or your financial circumstances. Unless you're one of those whipped ass bitches that listens to the woman about everything in your life.

Originally Posted by El Bastardo

I'm not sure what to do at this point. I've brought this up earlier in the relationship and asked opinions of friends. At the time it seemed to be best to try things out and think about it later. In hind sight, I thought that was kinda stupid but went with it. Coming now. Its all just coming back in full force kicking me in the face. Making things worse because we've both developed even more feelings for each other. She doesn't seem to interested or wanting to bring up the topics but its something I need to get sorted personally.

In my point of view. If I stall this for any longer and for say we do break up. I cant help but feel like i've wasted a good amount of her "youth". I know times ticking for her. I don't want to end up changing my mind and putting her in a position. Which shes single and already past her prime. (sounds kinda bad but I'm just being brutally honest)

Sounds to me you want to break up, because she can be a burden to you in the future seeing how you think she'll be a financial burden and will affect your lifestyle.

Originally Posted by El Bastardo

Honestly speaking. If she was a few years younger. I feel like none of this would be a problem but because of her age. I feel quite pressured to having a time limit on everything. (ex. ideally shes would want to be married 2-3years, live together for 1-2years, have kids, move back in with parents) This time line is a compress/shortest time span I can possible see these things happening. That to me would be considered rushing things.. Ideally for me I would like to spread it out a little more.

Those are the main concerns I have. Didn't bother including smaller details like if we were to get married. Where would we even get the money?

Maybe I'm thinking to far ahead? To me everything seems like something I should have a answer to. Its killing me inside not knowing. I don't want to just wait and see..

I'm planning to bring these topics back up after the new years. At this point I honestly don't know myself how things might go. It would be nice to hear a outsiders opinion on my situation.

If you're seriously honest, why don't you go ask her what she wants. You're completely assuming everything, her wanting to get married, live together a bit, then have kids. Maybe she doesn't even care about all of this and you're just scaring yourself. Finding out what she wants, you can then set your goals, or if it doesn't suit your time frame, age, etc. just tell her that she's better off finding someone else now rather than later.

Sounds to me like you're putting the pressure on yourself and you have this idea that two people being together should have a grand wedding, children at late 20's, a home of your own when you can't even afford it, etc. If you two truly love each other, none of this would get in the way, instead it should all just happen naturally. One side pressuring the other won't help in the long run.