Less than 17 hours until I have to head up to campus for another midterm exam. For those who know what I have been through the past few days, it's been difficult. It's been very draining from a cognitive point of view. Felt like I was faced with a wall in which I would never be available to get over. Fuck, I hate letting go of things - especially when they mean so much to you.
Being a little tired from studying, I decided to take a break. With nothing other than a pair of boxer shorts and a tank-top, I decided to take a walk outside. I took my keys, unknowingly the set to my car I haven't driven for a few weeks. I sat inside Bryan - my Del Sol - turned on the car, cranked up the volume, and just zoned out for a couple of minutes.
I felt happy just sitting inside, listening to the vocals from my favorite EDM songs, and admiring all the bright lights I installed a few months back. As depressed as I feel no longer being in a relationship spanning a good year and five months, I found comfort in the companionship of my car.
Then it hit me. I tried selling this car. I tried selling this car that brought me so many memories of happiness. I had spent all the time and energy building something what people thought was a pile of junk and should have been thrown away. I regret the feeling of wanting to get rid of the car, just because I no longer felt interested or didn't want it anymore. There was nothing wrong with the car, other than a few minor scratches and bruises that I could fix up anytime. Things can always be fixed.
Nothing is perfect, my car broke down a few months ago due to a blown clutch and left me stranded on the road. I felt pretty pissed off and extremely mad, but in most cases the car itself never let me down. 99% of the time, whenever I had to go somewhere, this car was always there for me. It has been an extremely loyal car, I treat it and take care of it with my very best.
So what did I realize after spending a good 15 minutes contemplating and enjoying the thumping bass inside a car that I wanted to sell? Some things are worth keeping, even when you lose interest in it. Just like a relationship, there will always be challenges, and you may very well lose interest in your partner too. I realized that hey, if something has been there for you and it has treated you well, then you might as well decide to hold onto it a little bit longer - it will always be there to make you happier. I guess you could say it is always better to appreciate the things you have, because once it's gone it's gone. I'm like my car - any problems that arise it can always be fixed. My significant other left me because they lost interest in me, but I won't be looking to get rid of my car for that reason.
Watch me build this car - and build myself - to something that was better than ever before
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