[trancehead]

Originally Posted by nabs

That statement alone is enough for a , she's only 20, she doesn't even know herself yet. What are most girls like? There's no cookie cutter equation to how a girl is. I agree greatly with the above, the dude is only a pen pal. I say you go in balls deep, because your feelings won't change, you are looking at your relationship with her in a different way, and I know it may be hard for you to be friends with her too. So just talk to her and tell your you're into her, and you're not into just being friends with her.

I don't agree with stewie above in keep hanging out with her and blah blah, she will friendzone the fuck out of you if you don't act on what you're thinking.

in any case, generally, nowadays i don't think the relationship status of anyone even matters anymore.

Lets try and be abstract about this to take away ego.


For instance, you have a dream job. You apply, and you get it. But wait, here is where they tell you that you will be actually getting an internship. Furthermore, it is unpaid, but its the closest you can get to it. You actually need the money (you do not have any side jobs), but you decide that it is worth the gamble in that in the long run you will be actually landing the paid position.

You start, then they tell you that you cannot tell people you actually work there. You need to sign an NDA that enforces confidentiality in what is going on. Also, you are not actually doing the dream job (lets say, Director of Human Resources). You are actually just a doorman of the office and you only get to greet employees as they walk in.

You ask them how long this internship lasts, and they give you a vague non-answer.

You work here for about 3 months with the promise that you will actually one day get paid and get to do the actual job you were promised. They keep stringing you along with stories that are suppose to make your heart sink. Stories about how the situation is daunting and they need your emotional support for all the employees.

You work even harder, hoping that they notice your efforts. Maybe, they will finally appreciate what I have done.

Another 3 months pass by, and you get told the same thing as 3 months ago. You withhold the same hope that you will actually get paid/the position you wanted.

How many more months do you spend at this company in hopes that they fulfill their promise?

the direct:

Spoiler!

make your intent clear at the beginning. if you havn't (and it sounds like you have not), she will see you as another beta orbiter. that special distance, where, there is indeed physical distance

yes a couple of us have been through what you are going through. take our advice. it sucks. just basically stop being her emotional tissue. Lets say she does have strong feelings for that guy in NY or wherever the fuck, then you are basically just a temporary placeholder (who it sounds like you cant even pound)

stop hanging out with her on the basis of being a friend. make it clear you have a penis (metaphorically-- somewhat)

if she shuns you away after your penis flinging, then GOOD. you finally know what you can actually reach with her. you can finally walk away and pursue OTHER girls. there are a bunch around you unless you live in buttfuck middle of no where.