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Some hotels offer a room to freshen up for free before heading to the airport for red-eyes, so inquire with the front desk. I used this at the now-defunct Ohana Waikiki West, but the last hotel I stayed at didn't offer it (Aqua Waikiki Wave).
Personally if your kids are that young I'd go to the airport early and just relax. Your 2yo might be bored but there are some open air sightlines to planes that they can hopefully burn a few hours looking at.
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