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Crate is not a bad thing if you made it a happy place. My dog sees his crate as a sanctuary. He would voluntarily come in and sleep/rest. The door is always open. There is no reason to be against it.
Nevertheless, trainning the dogs is more about trainning the human around them. You can not have your girl letting them do as they please. It sends confusing message to the pack and make trainning impossible. You need to be consistent. Have a set of rules and both of you follow it.
Neutering helps with aggression in adolescent dog.. Territorial marking may or may not go away. When I trained my pup, i always made a huge deal praising him when he does his business outside. Positive reinforcement. And negative reinforcement when you caught them pee inside the house. A simple "bad dog" will do, no need for spanking.
Again, trainning is easy when there is consistency. Made that clear to your girl. To helps accelerate the process, it helps to constantly watch them to reinforce behavior.
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