[Akinari]

Having thoughts of whether my choice a few months ago to give us a second chance was for the better, or if I'm simply prolonging the inevitable and wasting both of our time? I'm so completely lost, especially after all the things you've done for me these past few months, yet everything you've given me is seemingly material, perhaps I'm just not understanding your efforts to try and connect with me on a more emotional level, or maybe I'm not opening myself up enough to you? Perhaps we're simply not meant to be? Is it still the stupid language barrier? Vastly different family values and personal values as well?

Fuck, I'm such a mental wreck right now. I feel a heavy blanket of guilt that comes and goes. I thought moving out of the house away from family and closer to friends would help me clear my mind and open my mind, so far it's done nothing but give me more time to think of the "what ifs".