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Ok on a serious note... If you don't feel that way straight up tell her the truth and if she doesn't get the hint sadly you will have to end your friendship. It sucks but bitches be crazy especially if they want a little hipster duke running around.
On a non serious note go to Dr Pollock get the little snippy snippy and start raw dogging the shit out of her and when she's confused why little Duke isn't happening laugh at her and bounce.
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