[MG1]

It's hard sometimes when out of nowhere you just lose it and go into a trance thinking about the whole thing. Just the other night, as I was driving home on Still Creek at Costco. I was at the 4 way stop. This was late at night. I found my self just stopped there, doing nothing. No other cars were around. Finally a car came by and that's when I realized I had been there for quite some time. I was waiting for a light that wasn't there, to turn green.

Yes, the holidays are going to be tough. She always made the turkey. Like all wives/mothers, she fussed over it to make sure it was perfect and all. Things will never be the same, but life goes on. I have a little container that is on a chain with her cremains and a lock of her hair in it. The container is around the neck of a plush polar bear that she hugged while she was in the hospice. The bear sits next to me in bed.

I smile each time I walk into the room when I see it. It helps me get by. One day, I'll have to put it away in storage. I don't know. I have a friend who is going through the same thing. Going on five years. It doesn't get better. There will always be things that remind you of that person. He got himself a dog and it helps him deal with the loss.

I'm allergic to dogs and cats, so the plush bear will have to do, I guess.