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Tone Loc · 11-22-2017, 06:41 PM

Just going to start by saying that I'm not trying to bash anybody's religious beliefs nor start a debate/argument about "how" Christmas should be celebrated. These are just my personal views. If you don't agree with me, I respect that but please try to stay on topic.

I've been with my girlfriend for 11 months now, and this is our first Christmas together. She comes from a devoutly Catholic family, and though she isn't a practising Catholic per se, she is very much about all of the traditions regarding it. One of these traditions is going to Mass on Christmas Eve.

I too come from Catholic parents, but have a more negative view on religion in general. Due to a lot of negative experiences in my youth with not only my family but other religious people in general both within our church and outside of it, I stay away from religious events/ideas. I'd rather not go into more detail, but suffice to say that I am very far from religious. While I am not atheist or "hate" the idea of God, I see myself as more of an agnostic who believes in a higher power but sees religion as a man-made creation that has lost sight of the positive messages in it (such as "love your neighbor as yourself" and "we are all sinners so don't judge others").

As such, I told her that I respect her decision to want to go to Mass on Christmas eve, but I did not want to take part. She then asked me if I would be like that "forever" and honestly, I don't know.

Somehow the conversation then turned into asking me if I we got married, would I refuse to be married in a church. I told her that I wouldn't refuse because it would be important to both of our families, but ultimately it would be meaningless to me to have a Catholic wedding.

Needless to say, she wasn't happy with my decision though she respects my views. But it's easy to see that this will be a issue moving forward.

Am I in the wrong for being supportive of her religious views but making the decision not to take part? I know it is important to her, and I thought about "sucking it up" and going just to make her happy but it seems meaningless if I strongly disagree with the institutions and belief systems behind it.

Thoughts?

11-22-2017, 06:41 PM	#1
Tone Loc Need to Seek Professional Help Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 1,036 Thanked 1,820 Times in 501 Posts Failed 57 Times in 27 Posts	Christmas & Religion Just going to start by saying that I'm not trying to bash anybody's religious beliefs nor start a debate/argument about "how" Christmas should be celebrated. These are just my personal views. If you don't agree with me, I respect that but please try to stay on topic. I've been with my girlfriend for 11 months now, and this is our first Christmas together. She comes from a devoutly Catholic family, and though she isn't a practising Catholic per se, she is very much about all of the traditions regarding it. One of these traditions is going to Mass on Christmas Eve. I too come from Catholic parents, but have a more negative view on religion in general. Due to a lot of negative experiences in my youth with not only my family but other religious people in general both within our church and outside of it, I stay away from religious events/ideas. I'd rather not go into more detail, but suffice to say that I am very far from religious. While I am not atheist or "hate" the idea of God, I see myself as more of an agnostic who believes in a higher power but sees religion as a man-made creation that has lost sight of the positive messages in it (such as "love your neighbor as yourself" and "we are all sinners so don't judge others"). As such, I told her that I respect her decision to want to go to Mass on Christmas eve, but I did not want to take part. She then asked me if I would be like that "forever" and honestly, I don't know. Somehow the conversation then turned into asking me if I we got married, would I refuse to be married in a church. I told her that I wouldn't refuse because it would be important to both of our families, but ultimately it would be meaningless to me to have a Catholic wedding. Needless to say, she wasn't happy with my decision though she respects my views. But it's easy to see that this will be a issue moving forward. Am I in the wrong for being supportive of her religious views but making the decision not to take part? I know it is important to her, and I thought about "sucking it up" and going just to make her happy but it seems meaningless if I strongly disagree with the institutions and belief systems behind it. Thoughts?