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Tone Loc · 11-23-2017, 01:48 PM

6793026, very good points and though I'm not sure that my girlfriend is that level of religious, it's definitely something we need to discuss soon. I think that if she were to be a very devout Catholic, I would have to seriously reconsider whether I wanted to stay with her long-term.

MSREE, I'm Filipino too and I think we had a very similar background. I have/had no problem appeasing my parents with abiding by their traditions because they were always "moderate" with the majority of their beliefs. They were actually quite open-minded as they never forced me to go to church, donate money, pray, etc. My negative past experiences regarding religion and family always came from the more "extreme God fearing Catholics" which unfortunately comprise most of my extended family and people I knew growing up. It was from them that I realized how hypocritical, judgmental, and sometimes downright hateful devout Christians can be (as well as other religions).

As I got to know my girlfriend's parents better, I began to realize that her parents also fell on that end of the spectrum. It's super interesting to observe actually, because overall they are very kind, sweet, and caring people but when something like the Pride Parade or a pro-LGBT event or a music video where the female performer is scantily clad appears on TV, for instance, they turn into extremely bigoted and intolerant people. While my girlfriend fortunately doesn't share the same views, she does identify with being Catholic.

I agree with what you're saying about compromise, and I'm beginning to realize that I am willing to compromise to a certain extent; the struggle begins with asking how much is too much? I don't mind going to Mass once a year or not have meat on Christmas Eve (she wanted to do that too) but I guess I'm trying to find the "line in the sand" so to speak regarding what I will do and won't do. Especially if we get to the stage where we have kids, I don't want them learning the negative aspects of religion such as the "fear" aspect you talk about, as well as the judgmental attitude towards things like gay marriage, premarital sex, women's rights, divorce etc. I however would want them to learn from the "good" aspects of religion such as loving one's neighbor, turning the other cheek, not judging others, living with integrity and respecting one's body etc.

I guess it's all a delicate balancing act, but definitely worth talking about.....

11-23-2017, 01:48 PM	#9
Tone Loc Need to Seek Professional Help Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 1,036 Thanked 1,820 Times in 501 Posts Failed 57 Times in 27 Posts	6793026, very good points and though I'm not sure that my girlfriend is that level of religious, it's definitely something we need to discuss soon. I think that if she were to be a very devout Catholic, I would have to seriously reconsider whether I wanted to stay with her long-term. MSREE, I'm Filipino too and I think we had a very similar background. I have/had no problem appeasing my parents with abiding by their traditions because they were always "moderate" with the majority of their beliefs. They were actually quite open-minded as they never forced me to go to church, donate money, pray, etc. My negative past experiences regarding religion and family always came from the more "extreme God fearing Catholics" which unfortunately comprise most of my extended family and people I knew growing up. It was from them that I realized how hypocritical, judgmental, and sometimes downright hateful devout Christians can be (as well as other religions). As I got to know my girlfriend's parents better, I began to realize that her parents also fell on that end of the spectrum. It's super interesting to observe actually, because overall they are very kind, sweet, and caring people but when something like the Pride Parade or a pro-LGBT event or a music video where the female performer is scantily clad appears on TV, for instance, they turn into extremely bigoted and intolerant people. While my girlfriend fortunately doesn't share the same views, she does identify with being Catholic. I agree with what you're saying about compromise, and I'm beginning to realize that I am willing to compromise to a certain extent; the struggle begins with asking how much is too much? I don't mind going to Mass once a year or not have meat on Christmas Eve (she wanted to do that too) but I guess I'm trying to find the "line in the sand" so to speak regarding what I will do and won't do. Especially if we get to the stage where we have kids, I don't want them learning the negative aspects of religion such as the "fear" aspect you talk about, as well as the judgmental attitude towards things like gay marriage, premarital sex, women's rights, divorce etc. I however would want them to learn from the "good" aspects of religion such as loving one's neighbor, turning the other cheek, not judging others, living with integrity and respecting one's body etc. I guess it's all a delicate balancing act, but definitely worth talking about.....