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ForbiddenX · 11-23-2017, 11:03 PM

I'm pretty much living this situation right now. I'm a born and raised Catholic (filipino like you guys haha). Went to Catholic elementary and high school, was really involved, altar served and did ministry. It wasn't until I finished high school where I really kind of took a step back and had a falling out with my faith. I like to say I'm agnostic when it comes to faith.

I met my wife at that high school and she's a practicing Catholic. She respects my views but also does appreciate it when I go to mass with her, but I really really hate going to mass. It's one of the biggest things that annoys me about the Catholic faith but that's a different story. I'd much rather spend time playing video games or watching the football games lol.

We used to argue about this while we were engaged and how she wanted me to always go to mass with her. I was honestly in the same boat with going just to make her happy. I typically just went because it was more work to argue about it than to just shut my mouth for an hour (we lived 5 minutes walking distance from a church lol). And something always came up in the homily that would remind me why I hated this and she would have to listen to me rant. I also never liked the idea of "just going to be there", to me that defeats the whole purpose of mass. What's the point of me going if I'm not even participating?

Nowadays, she's been more ok with me not going and she just goes with parents. I admit it's pretty childish, but when I do go, I end up sleeping during the homilies / communion which is partly why she is more okay with me not going. But when I do go we end up going dimsum or pho which is fine by me.

She knows and respects that I'll never be a practicing Cathloic again, and our compromises have been me just going if I feel like it or if we're going to be doing something after mass.

But the next issues have been kids... we're planning on having kids soon so these topics have come up pretty much everytime I've gone to mass

1) If you have a kid, you won't go to church, but if your wife wants the kid to go to church... do you have a say?

I told my wife I'd be ok with this as long as when they do decide that it's not for them either that she would be ok with it.

2) Wife wants kids to get baptized... would u go? If the wife wants a religious name...

I don't mind this as this would be a pre-requisite for 1 eitherway. Religious names do sound a bit more epic ie: Zebadiah

3) Pay $3000 a month for Private Christian school (or *insert religion here); pay for uniforms....will you have a fight with wife and say FUCK YOU, I ain't paying for that shit.

I'm already strongly against this. Not only did my parents have to pay $3000 a month, I felt like I didn't get to explore as many subjets / electives as those who went to public school. I went to a small school that had 3 electives...

4) Kids going to church and you don't.
Don't mind this

5) Would you wake up every Sunday to help your wife gets up at 6 AM so that the 2 & 4 yr old can get dressed to go to church.

Don't mind this too much as we go to a late morning mass.

11-23-2017, 11:03 PM	#13
ForbiddenX RS has made me the bitter person i am today! Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: YVR Posts: 4,524 Thanked 1,275 Times in 434 Posts Failed 62 Times in 24 Posts	I'm pretty much living this situation right now. I'm a born and raised Catholic (filipino like you guys haha). Went to Catholic elementary and high school, was really involved, altar served and did ministry. It wasn't until I finished high school where I really kind of took a step back and had a falling out with my faith. I like to say I'm agnostic when it comes to faith. I met my wife at that high school and she's a practicing Catholic. She respects my views but also does appreciate it when I go to mass with her, but I really really hate going to mass. It's one of the biggest things that annoys me about the Catholic faith but that's a different story. I'd much rather spend time playing video games or watching the football games lol. We used to argue about this while we were engaged and how she wanted me to always go to mass with her. I was honestly in the same boat with going just to make her happy. I typically just went because it was more work to argue about it than to just shut my mouth for an hour (we lived 5 minutes walking distance from a church lol). And something always came up in the homily that would remind me why I hated this and she would have to listen to me rant. I also never liked the idea of "just going to be there", to me that defeats the whole purpose of mass. What's the point of me going if I'm not even participating? Nowadays, she's been more ok with me not going and she just goes with parents. I admit it's pretty childish, but when I do go, I end up sleeping during the homilies / communion which is partly why she is more okay with me not going. But when I do go we end up going dimsum or pho which is fine by me. She knows and respects that I'll never be a practicing Cathloic again, and our compromises have been me just going if I feel like it or if we're going to be doing something after mass. But the next issues have been kids... we're planning on having kids soon so these topics have come up pretty much everytime I've gone to mass 1) If you have a kid, you won't go to church, but if your wife wants the kid to go to church... do you have a say? I told my wife I'd be ok with this as long as when they do decide that it's not for them either that she would be ok with it. 2) Wife wants kids to get baptized... would u go? If the wife wants a religious name... I don't mind this as this would be a pre-requisite for 1 eitherway. Religious names do sound a bit more epic ie: Zebadiah *3) Pay $3000 a month for Private Christian school (or insert religion here); pay for uniforms....will you have a fight with wife and say FUCK YOU, I ain't paying for that shit. I'm already strongly against this. Not only did my parents have to pay $3000 a month, I felt like I didn't get to explore as many subjets / electives as those who went to public school. I went to a small school that had 3 electives... 4) Kids going to church and you don't. Don't mind this 5) Would you wake up every Sunday to help your wife gets up at 6 AM so that the 2 & 4 yr old can get dressed to go to church. Don't mind this too much as we go to a late morning mass. __________________ YouTube Twitch My Website flickr** Feedback (19-0-0)