Quote:
Originally Posted by CorneringArtist
I just look okay at an event for about a couple of hours and go hide in a corner until it's time to leave. You can visibly see me go from hoping I'll enjoy it to "when the fuck can I just go home, no one wants anything to do with me."
This is why I don't have friends and don't like leaving my house unless it's for work or food. I honestly would rather keep people at arms length than deal with being ignored after trying so hard to get to know them and make a meaningful connection. It's happened too many times already.
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You'd be surprised at how others see you compared to your own view. I doubt it's as you say it is even though you feel the way you do. I can understand and relate to your constant disappointment though. It's a tough hole to come out of but I will say that once you "accept" this feeling as the norm you end up digging yourself a deeper hole. Embracing the darkness only lets it run free and control your life. It is the easy choice though as embracing it is easier than attempting to change it. Change is hard but once you make that step it gets easier. You fall down, you get up. Being disappointed due to others actions is no way to live and once you feel better about yourself you will notice that the feelings and opinions of others mean less and affect you less overall. I'm a pretty fragile guy and external occurrences affect me greatly as I tend to read far to deep into them. As you heal within, those occurrences tend to have less affect on you. Be in control, don't let the actions of others control it for you.