Quote:
Originally Posted by Tone Loc
For me, my confidence now comes from being happy with myself. I look at the mirror now, and I like what I see. Of course, I don't think of myself as perfect and I know I have lots to work on, but for the first time in many years I am proud of who I am.
In that 4-year longtermer that I was in, I was extremely unhappy with myself. It's not one of those things that I knew while in the relationship, but when shit hit the fan I began to see through the fog so to speak.
I was 22, plodding through school and taking forever to get my degree, putting my dream career on hold because my ex didn't want me to relocate for it, gaining weight and quit going to the gym, not spending very much time with my own friends...
And then we broke up, and on top of all of that shit I was now alone.
At that point I decided it was time for a change:
- I went back to the gym and lost 40 pounds in about 6 months of heavy working out and a serious diet.
- I pushed myself harder to take more courses and get my degree, which I did by Dec 2016.
- I applied for my "dream job", and I got in. I had to relocate to Toronto for it, but I'm super stoked that I'm doing something I love, and that it's a career with benefits and a pension and job security... not bad for being 24!
- Needless to say I moved out of my parents house, and now am fully independent. I had to borrow some $$ from the bank of mom and dad for furniture, pots/pans and all of that stuff, but I'm on the road to paying it all back. I'm much better with money and budgeting now.
- I began going out more with my friends and spending time with the boys. Super positive change. Also started spending lots of time with my family which was really beneficial in improving our dynamic.
It is all of those positive changes that made me feel confident enough to approach women, because I felt that I was finally bringing something to the table and that I was proud of who I was. My attitude was "your loss" if I got rejected, because my perception of self-worth greatly increased.
My point is, a lot of those changes happened BECAUSE I was single, and because I realized that confidence, and being happy with oneself, all that jazz, comes from YOU. And I realized I needed to make a lot of changes in order for me to be happy with me.
When you're happy with yourself, people take notice. And believe me, they like it.
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The more I read what you have to say, the more I realize that this is probably what I should do.
I should just focus on making myself better and improving myself. I talked to my dad and he really encouraged me to get a personal trainer, which I am going to do next year. I suppose this is my New Year resolution.
Should also talk to more people, just as friends. You never know what will happen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CorneringArtist
There must be a red flag over my head that says I'm not even worth a look. Literally zero responses trying online shit, even with effort.
I'm ready to kill myself by 30 if this keeps up.
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How did the Noob and Stock meet go? Did you make it?
I hope you talk to a professional if you have thoughts like this often.
And like Tone Loc said, you gotta realize you don't need a relationship to be happy and have a good life. Focus on improving yourself and good things will come to you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS
Sometimes its not about getting attention, even though it might not be as serious as you think it is. I remember at like 13/14/15/16, I've contemplated it many times. But it turned out I really just liked the pain of making myself hurt and thinking about whether or not people would miss me.
Fact is, people are going to miss you. Even the people that you didn't think would care, are going to miss you. And it's selfish to put them through that. I think the best advice I got was when I was contemplating it and my buddy told, if you're going to say that, go walk into the middle of the street right now (and wait to get hit). That's kinda when I realized I didn't want to die.
Like MSREE said, professional help is the best case scenario. Even if that's not what you're looking for, sometimes its nice to just talk to someone or write it out somewhere, then destroy it.
Anyone good at analyzing dreams here? I feel like it might be because I've been eating mangos and vaping before bed.
I've been having really realistic, vivid, detail oriented, and generally fucked up dreams for the past three consecutive days. It was so bad that the best sleep I got was when I got shitfaced last night and passed out on the bathroom floor for 12 hours.
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Never had the thought of suicide. Guess I have a silly, yet optimistic side that keeps me up. And yeah, the thought of killing myself will probably break my grandparents' hearts.
I haven't had dreams for a while now. That, or I don't remember any I had recently.
Also haven't really drunk much alcohol since I started doing some late night driving. Even when I drink, I never get too drunk. Last time I got really drunk was at the Frosh.