[CorneringArtist]

Fucking thanks. This is why I fucking hate and fear people. The more I tried to reach out for perspective before ending up where I am now, I get shit for it.

I truly think other than family I have one real friend. ONE. And I can't hang out with them week in and week out. I know a metric fuck ton of people, but do I feel like I can reach out to them? Fuck no because I legitimately fear asking people to go and do things for fear of appearing creepy. I don't have this magic fucking network that normal people have and it's been eating me for years. You can only be beside yourself for so long before the loneliness sets in. Do you know how difficult it is to want to get to truly know people but be completely fucking scared you've already fucked up your chances with them after saying hello? That fear keeps people at arm's length and when you think you've mustered the confidence to reach out, you stop and realize you look like a creep for asking after so long.It's a pathetic irony that keeps digging itself a deeper and deeper hole.

Cheers for the rant. I must be an even bigger piece of shit than I fucking thought.