[punkwax]

Late to the party here but I have a story to share. Didn’t want to post it earlier because of the industry I’m in but now that marijuana is legal I’ve relaxed a little and don’t mind telling it.

Back in 2001 my girlfriend (now wife) and I went to Jamaica. We connected via Toronto where it was -10 so I was dressed warm and comfortably in fleece sweats and a hoody for the flight. Needless to say when I got there in the 30+ heat I was a little clammy from the humidity, which was uncomfortable but turned out to be a blessing in disguise.. which I’ll explain a little later on.

Every trip I go on I tend to do some research ahead of time which I’m sure isn’t uncommon. Somewhere along the way I had read that the Jamaican government had a program to try and bust people buying weed so they’d have to post bail and that was a way they’d generate revenue. Ok.. don’t buy weed. Check.

I get to the airport in Jamaica and no joke at least a dozen people ask me if I smoke. I say no to all of them and almost get outside. There’s officers all around with guns so no chance I’m looking to score in the airport of all places. I get near the exit and the last guy asks me where I’m from. I say Vancouver. “Ohh you know the good shit then mon, you smoke?” Since I’m almost out the door and he’s the only person who actually asked me a question aside from just “do you smoke” I tell him I do at home but I’m not interested here. Here’s how the rest of the conversation went:

Him - “Come with me to the bathroom mon.”
Me - “No thanks I’m good man”
Him - “You’re at the airport mon, this is the best place to buy weed.”
Me - “I’m in Jamaica. I’m sure the airport isn’t the best place.”

I carry on walking. He lifts up my shirt and puts a bag on me. Since I’m overdressed it sticks to my stomach.

Him - “This is how we do it here. Now come to the bathroom”
Me - “I said no man. I didn’t ask for this.”
Him - “You owe me $100 US dollars, let’s go”
Me - “I told you, I didn’t ask for this and I’m sure as hell not giving it back..” as I look at all the officers around.

I tell the wife I’m grabbing my wallet from my suitcase and shake my shirt enough that the bag falls inside of my suitcase and quickly zip it up. He follows me outside lowering the price with every 10-20 steps we take.

Him - “40 dollars US mon that’s it”
Me - “I only have travelers cheques. They’re useless to you. I told you I didn’t want it. I’m not giving you anything”

We’re only a few feet outside and he must’ve recognized an officer or something.. I’ll never forget the tone of his voice when he said threateningly, “Todays your lucky day mon.” and disappeared.

We take a few more steps and a dude in a red vest and matching cap says, “welcome to Jamaica! Please let me take your bags.” I say no as our shuttle is about 100’ away in the parking lot. “Let me do my job mon, you are on vacation” he pleads. Again, I say no and continue on. He physically takes the bags out of my wife’s hands and then goes for mine, one of which has a bag of weed in it which I’m totally paranoid about. I decline one last time and he literally wrestled them out of my grip and kept saying “you are on vacation, let me do the work.”

We get to the shuttle and he sticks out his hand and says “it’s customary to tip the red caps $20 US per bag” I look at him and tell him the same thing I told the other guy. “I didn’t ask you to take my bags, you took them. I have travelers cheques and no cash. You aren’t getting anything.”

Obviously by now I’m pissed off and not loving my first few minutes in Jamaica. We get in the shuttle, almost crash several times on the way to the resort as it’s absolute madness on the roads out there and finally get to the resort. When I stepped out and got my bags,
I actually walked to some grass and kissed the ground thankful I had made it there safely. Sounds crazy I’m sure, but I did.

When we got to the room I pulled out the bag of weed. It was at least a half ounce. My wife had no idea any of this happened in the airport and was completely oblivious despite walking beside me the whole time. The whole exchange was that incognito. I told her the story and she couldn’t believe it much like everyone I tell the story to.

We were easily the most popular couple at the resort for those two weeks. Everyone knew we had a bag and we shared on the beach daily. It was a great time but I’ll never pay to go back to Jamaica myself. If I get offered a free trip.. maybe lol