I know quite a few people who didn't have kids until they are older, and unfortunately, there are a good number of them whose kids have various issues.
A cousin didn't have her first kid until she was in her late 30's, and her 2nd one until she was around 40. The first one had some sort of speech delay, and the 2nd one had a (non-hereditary) condition where her body can't produce a certain something to regulate something else. It is an uncurable condition, although it can be medically managed. Before the doctors were able to figure out exactly what was wrong with the 2nd child, she was extra chubby in the first few years of her life because of the condition. There were endless numbers of medical appointments, and for my cousin and her husband, I'm sure it was extremely stressful as a result. Both kids seem to be fine now, but of course, the 2nd kid will require special medication her whole life to control her condition.
Another couple I know didn't have their first child until the wife was in her late 30's, and the husband in his early 40's. The child turned out to have a mutation in his genes where it made him frail since he was born, and there are a lot of health complications associated with it. In the past, this kind of disease was associated with a dramatically shortened life expectancy where the person typically doesn't live past their 30's. With medical advancements, the life expectancy has dramatically increased.
Another couple I know has 3 children, with the youngest one being born when the mom is in her late 30's. The youngest child is diagnosed with Asperger syndrome. Another couple I know is in a similar situation, but the youngest child has some degree of autism instead of Asperger. It was fortunate that they got their child into early intervention, so the kid seems to be functioning sufficiently well, but you'd still know he is not a "normal" child. Another couple where the wife had their first child in her mid 30's, while the husband is in his late 30's has an autistic child. They still decide to have a 2nd kid. Fortunately, their 2nd child is fine.
As a normal parent, I know how taxing it already is to raise a child. Seeing my friends look after their children with some of the above issues absolutely puts me to shame. I suppose when someone is put into that sort of situation, you eventually accept the reality and deal with it the best you can. From my perspective though, I honestly think I would go crazy / cannot provide that level of parental support and responsibility.
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Originally Posted by Euro7r
I'm curious to know how many of you guys actually have friends/family that have had kids that had health developmental issues? We tend to hear don't have kids when you get too old (mainly from friends as we are surrounded in a world with mass amount of information). Out of every 10 friends, is there 1 that has issues? I had a coworker at my last job and he was literally 49 with his wife, they had their one and only kid after trying to have for so many year. No issues with the kid, he's athletic and in 1st year post secondary now.
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The timing thing that you mention is also a troublesome issue when parenthood is delayed. The older we get, the less fertile we become, and that applies to both males and females. I know a few couples who have fertility issues, and at least 2 of them are "older" -- one couple where both persons are in their late 30's, and another where the wife is in her late 30's and the husband in his early 40's when they first discovered the fertility issue. The late 30's couple tried IVF multiple times, over at least a span of 2 years, and they were fortunate enough to be successful. The other couple wasn't so lucky. The wife really wanted to have their own child, and seems to have developed clinical depression from the stress of the numerous failed IVF attempts.
Bear in mind that IVF is not cheap -- I don't know how much; I just know it is not cheap. Also, each attempt also seems to be both stressful and painful.
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Having kids is something that we can't seem to make it "when" it will happen, as much as we plan it in advance. There are people that will say let's do it at 35 and then they can't conceive until 40, so it's not as easy as say fucking your wife and boom comes out the baby. Still a lot of things into consideration aside from the finance.
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At the other end of the spectrum, I have a colleague who have been unsuccessfully trying to naturally conceive with his wife for years. They have pretty much come to accept that they will be childless. But a few years ago, when my colleague was in his mid 40's and his wife in her early 40's, the wife successfully became pregnant, and their kid seems to be a perfectly normal and happy child.
Medically, we know the risks goes up as the parents get older. Anecdotally, we may not know these "stories" around us, but they are defintely there.