[Badhobz]

I’m getting tired of hearing myself as I’m sure you guys are as well. So I’ll make it short… ish

With the cube gone, and now down to a grey ratrolla LE (288 a month, zero down 36 months) and the garage queen maderati, I thought why don’t I get a real sports car. Ya know the one that everyone seems to like, that fucking VW Beetle flat 6 piece of shit. I read the reviews, saw that the 997 was a bit too pricey (a whopping 80k at the time for a c2s) and thought I’d save a buck or two and buy a 996.

I decided the regular base 911 wasn’t spicy enough because of course I can handle it. I drive an ego inflating Italian exotic. What’s the worst this hitlermobile can do to me ? So I opted for the carrera s. I kinda thought the targa looked cool or the vert but ultimately decided to get a pure-er experience with a stick shift 996 cs.

Caveat: I’ve never tracked anything, I barely drove stick and learned on my buddies Mazda mx-6. I bought it from the Porsche dealer for 40k with 40,000kms on it and full service record.

Proceeded to drive it home and almost died twice as it was raining and the fucker liked to step out mid corners. Traction was on, but tires were original so I guess half worn. I honestly thought that thing was broken. I carefully drove it home and then the following day took it back to the dealer. The sales guy promptly showed me how to properly drive a 911 and then said this was normal. I was like why is the front so light ? Why is it when I breath on the throttle the ass comes around ? He’s like you just need to learn how to drive it properly.

Nope. This ham fisted chinamen never figured it out. I tried to adjust but ultimately was too scared to do anything. Took it to Squamish and had some Pooh and pee come out involuntarily.

Sold it less then a year afterwards for 35k.

To this day: fuck 911s. It’s the cars fault. Definitely not my shitty driving skill. 1000%