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Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS
Sucks for you Ulic.. I gotta revive the thread cause I gotta say some shit I can't say out loud. I've been staying off RS and really just been gaming a lot because I don't have the energy to write a lot. I'm only really writing this because I'm continuing to procrastinate on outstanding projects and this seemed like most low-effort "project" I can complete.
It honestly feels like I'm depressed but it doesn't feel like the same kind of depression as when I was a teen and eager for my parents approval/pride. I don't want to self delete.. but I kind of just want to sleep forever.
There's this article on The Cut about what they called " The Pandemic Skip". I didn't read the article but I watched a Tiktok about it (lol). I entered the pandemic in my early 20s and the pandemic "ended" in my mid 20s. Now that I'm in my "late" 20s (26), I feel like I'm behind on everything. Similarly to the college experience, which I also missed out on by going to BCIT, your 20s is one of the formative years of your life.
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I'm finding my attention span to be lower too. I started typing this and now I'm too lazy to finish it. Maybe cause I feel like I'm beating a dead horse as I've echo'd this feeling of being stuck across a few other threads before.
So tl;dr I'm feeling lazy and stuck. I miss the early 20s of my life where I started a business and had a passion (or motivation to live life). Now I just want to melt into my sheets and while I know the right thing to do is find some way out of it, I can't bring myself to do it. I don't want to die. But it almost feels like I already did and I'm stuck in some kind of hell loop.
Oh yeah, on-thread content - dating. I haven't put much effort into dating because of the above thoughts. I don't want to bring someone into my life. But it's a catch-22, if I don't practice it, I feel further behind. Wouldn't be a 40 year old virgin, but at this rate might just turn into one lol |
You 100% sound like you're dealing with depression.
Maybe you need a change of venue for a bit, it sounds corny, but maybe you need a little vacation?
If the problems feel deeper you should talk to a physician, it's not wrong to consider anti-depressants if you're feeling in a hole you can't get out of.
Either way most people start to feel that angst in our mid to late 30's, it's a weird time of transition. Young enough to still harken back to days not long ago in your 20's, while at the same time being old enough to be considered actually "old", and that fear of reaching the 40's (aka you're now an old fuck).
It's a scary time.