Act 0: DC
Me: Amtrak prices from NYC to DC are absolutely ludicrous! At least it'll be us, a nap and a book down the east coast.
Sam: I'll drive us all the way to DC if we have to.
Me: Tolls are $50 but we can get free gas if we rent an EV.
Mercedes EQB300 - Can we convert a die-hard stick shift track rat? ⭐⭐
Act 1: Screens
Sam: Right, so I start my day utterly baffled by the screens. I mean, it’s more distracting than the cockpit of a spaceship, isn’t it? And don’t even get me started on the touchpad. It’s like trying to navigate a map with a bar of soap. All I've needed in life is my 86 and a good track day.
Me: Oh come on, this is the only car where you can control car play all from the steering wheel touch pad. Mazda's dial is confusing and you sound like an internet citizen complaining about screens right now.
Act 2: Driver Assists
Sam: And then there’s the adaptive cruise control, which decides nudge the steering every time you indicate a lane change. It’s as if the car’s saying, ‘I'm going to help you whether you like it or not mate.’
Me: Yes and Mercedes Drive Pilot lets you take your eyes off the road and assumes insurance liability. You're from LA aren't you? Wouldn't you rather browse the web, watch videos, or play a game during a traffic jam? It’s like having your own personal butler, but without the tea and crumpets. I want the even bigger screen in the EQS.
Sam: Speaking of driving, why does the screen say ‘change lane to the left’? That doesn't seem particularly bright.
Me: Probably because it knows you’re behind the wheel, Sam. It’s trying to save us from your dreadful driving!
Me: Actually, it's good that the car is telling you it's not going to accelerate 30kmh while it waits to lock on to the car in the new lane.
Sam: Not just dreadful, dangerous too.
Act 3: The Park Bench
Sam: Is this seat broken? There's something sticking into me like a park bench. And those LED lights! It’s like driving around in a tacky nightclub. Who needs that kind of distraction?
Me: Yes the interior's a POS. Just wait till the girls get in, we'll need em to get the fun car karaoke going. Rebecca will 100% make this thing the rolling club.
Act 4: Fin
Sam: Fine, this is really quiet and nice in traffic.
Me: Bro we would've spent $110 in electricity if it wasn't included; thank god weren't in a GM or Toyota EV - we would've had to wait two hours.
New EV Tier List
If we did the trip in an Ioniq/Silverado I’d have spent 15 minute charging each way, not 59 each way. 0 minutes in a Lucid round trip.
- S tier: GM trucks - flat charge curve at 350kW means 10 minute rest stops. (200kW on superchargers)
- A: Lucid - 500mile range means no charging round trip to Boston or DC.
- A-: Hyundai/Kias/MB EQE and EQS - flat 250kW charge curve (100kW at superchargers).
- C-: Anything else, including Teslas. ~120kW average charging means 40 minute rest stops.
- F: Toyota/Subaru/Chevy Bolt: ~40kW.