[BIC_BAWS]

*forked from "The Official No Need To Start a New Thread, Thread" by RabidRat, on request from BIC_BAWS*

Incoming word vomit.

What do you guys define as a high value individual? This term has popped up across social media lately, but ignoring the TikTok/IG brain rot perspective, what does this mean to you guys?

Spoiler!

I've been really really really fucking burnt out (struggling) for the last few years. Hell I haven't done anything to change it and I know that. It's not an excuse but for context, I barely feel like a human being most of the time and it honestly feels like I'm living in a shell of myself - robotic going through the daily motions of life (work, eat, sleep, repeat). I've said this before, but I feel trapped. As in, trapped in debt (mortgage + car) via lifestyle inflation and other familial circumstances. Outside of track and friends, I am living only to pay off generational debt.

Anyway, through a conversation with a friend tonight, I think the lack of motivation to do something about it ultimately boils down to my self worth. Pre-COVID, in my early 20s, I was running several successful businesses and I had a clear path of what I wanted to do. COVID kind of really fucked me cause I feel like I've done nothing since the shut down. To me, success looks like ambition and living your life to your terms, done via entrepreneurship. I can't do that anymore because I need things like job security and being an employee for mortgage reasons.

Despite me feeling that I haven't had a lot of self growth in the last 4 years, a different friend reminded me that I've grown so much more as a person - managing to foster (cultivate) an amazing friend group, finding joy in caring for others (monetary, time, experiences) and showing up for people, etc. While I think I was doing that before, they did mention that they didn't really like who I was before - arrogant, cocky, and an overall asshole. I'm still an asshole, but I perceived that time of my life of being a high valued person.

I find it difficult to have this conversation with those amongst my age group as in most cases - it's the opposite. They didn't have a sense of direction in their early 20s, but now they do. Or tbh it's just that life hasn't beaten them up yet or enough, to get to this point of what the fuck. Whereas, the demographic here is older, so well most of you have gotten your 20s and 30s out of the way and life has fucked you up over the years.