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K, I feel shitty now being so snarky yesterday without knowing the whole story. Sorry you're having to go through this BIC BAWS, your 20s should be a time to discover yourself and find out what the world has to offer you. I say SHOULD because there's so many that didn't/don't have that kind of privilege and those that do rarely see outside their bubble. It sounds to me like you're in a real tight spot.
DOn't really have any sage advice to give you but seems to me you're taking on yourself the weight of the world and you're trying to fix everything in your life at the same time. This is overwhelming I can only imagine. If money issues are your biggest concern, can you focus on that? Promotion, more education, entrepreneurship, whatever you need to get you ahead if that's what you deem a priority. Hyper focusing on what your friends are doing and/or chasing pussy is probably not what you need right now.
Also your brother moving to the US for a tech job, can he not help out more with the mortgage? Doesn't seem like it's fair for you to shoulder much of the family expenses. I can relate tho you're probably the first born and you think it's your responsibility to take on this burden. But you're still young (late 20s?) and although it doesn't seem like you are anymore you still have a ton of life experiences ahead of you. You are your own person with your own wishes and dreams, not a productivity robot. We also don't live in Asia anymore where this BS first born burden is ingrained.
Also if you're having thoughts about suicide or ending things hoping that it'll make things easier for your family...it won't. Please talk to a mental health professional. We're all gunning for you. Good luck bro
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