[Gerbs]

I finally caught up with the last few pages and I know there are solid actionable that are being set forward.

Holy fuck, Bobbinka has the post of the year!

I was just about to call out the delusion,
- Income $60K Gross
- $90 in Bank
- $2.5-3K/mo+ House payments? idk, guessing
- Missed car payment
- LOC @ 8%
- High KM CTR could be underwater on a $40K+ Loan?
- Cash flow is pay cheque to pay cheque and underwater

You're not in a position to be spending
- $200-300 on vape/weed
- Not looking at price when eating out and eating out most meals
- Spending $3-5K on track, $1.2K sim memby is the solution in the interim
- $300-400/month on gas
- $40K over 4 years on hobby related car maintenance/upgrades not including purchase


Not to be offensive, but I don't agree with others saying you're doing well for your age, that your way ahead and you shouldn't stress. It feels like you gave yourself 100% of the dopamine from owning a home, while contributing only 33% of the mortgage and < 5% down?

I don't know if this is true but not being able to manage a $600K mortgage payments with 4 incomes on a big SFH purchase is a bit odd. It seems to me that you never built the strong financial literacy from having to save the $200-600K+ for a SFH down payment. I can't see how you could live half the lifestyle above and save for any meaningful down payment. If that's true, it appears that the equity gained from inheriting a % ownership in the family home made you feel like you're in a better financial position than you're currently in. Which is only applicable if you have the ability and control to downsize and withdraw equity, which is impossible with 4 owner opinions.

There's a time to enjoy life in your 20's, not worry about spending and living a little, but this ain't it. This is a lifestyle of someone who's making on the lowest end $120-150K+ for 3+ years, has emergency funds and investments in check or someone who makes $80K+ and has 0 expenses living at home. The lifestyle inflations needs to be compromised asap and should be enjoyed after you increase your income via the actionable.

This should be a HUGEEEEEEEEE wakeup call for positive change, which you're actively seeking! You're spending money you don't have, on non-essentials you shouldn't have at this point in time.

Spoiler!

Originally Posted by bobbinka

BIC_BAWS, it sounds like you got in way over your head. You came from one life, wanted to live the better life, but was not prepared for what the consequences were (how the mortgage weighs on you and affects your life decisions, how taxing the long commute is, how a 9-5 job wears you down).

Everything everyone else has said here is great, self improvement, talk to people, make connections, change careers for better opportunities, etc, but it doesn't address your problem in the short term.

I'm going to tell it to you as it is and you're not going to like it. You live paycheck to paycheck, have $90 in your account, and was late on a car payment. My friend, it's time to make some serious re-evaluations in life and address the problem before it spirals out of control. I've worked collections before. Once you fall behind, it becomes exponentially harder and harder to catch back up. You need to deal with this now. How long before it's a late mortgage payment? What happens if you, mom, or dad, get sick for an extended period of time or someone gets laid off? What if interest rates skyrocket to 8% when you need to re-finance?

I don't know how big your house is or what your mortgage payments are, but whatever it is, it's too much. You need to live within your means. You frame it as wanting your family to own their home etc, but the reality of it is that it's what you wanted. I'm sure mom and dad would be perfectly fine living in a 2 bedroom condo or smaller townhouse if it meant their kids could actually live their lives happily. You need to sit down with mom and dad and admit that your plan did not work out. If it means selling the place and downsizing together, or living separately in rentals, then so be it. You do what needs to be done. I'm sorry if that means you dont get to have a garage anymore.

I know this is a car forum, and everyone loves a CTR (I assume Civic Type-R), but you need to sell the car and stop financing. People make twice what you make and drive $30k-$40k cars. You've had your fun, you have pictures on the Gram to prove it, it's time to move on. Get into a cheap reliable car. You don't need a race car to be a car enthusiast. It's not forever, it's to help you get by until you have the means to live big in the future.

Expensive hobbies are for rich people. Does your bank account look like it belongs to a rich person?

You know the difference between the people who recover from these situations and those that spiral out of control until they declare bankruptcy? They COMPROMISE, take responsibility for their problem, and make big life changes to start dealing with it. Those people who cant recover are the ones who have an excuse for everything. They MUST have a brand new $100k pick-up truck, because they need it for work (when a used cheaper one would do). They MUST order take-out because they're too busy to cook. They MUST have expensive sushi because that's the only joy they get each week. They MUST keep the boat because it's almost paid off anyway. The people who fix their shit will eat mac and cheese everyday if they have to. They'll downsize, move to an older building, or move to a different city. They'll meal plan and find the most cost effective way to survive and still be healthy. Yea, it fucking sucks and it's not easy, but they get their life back on track and can actually live freely again.

You know why you're miserable? Because you are/were a cocky arrogant person (as you said) who was over confident in himself, so you think you're the shit and the decisions you make are great, and now when it's falling apart, it's fucking hard to swallow. I'm sure these tough times, while watching your friends succeed in life, are humbling though.

Live. Within. Your. Means. I promise you you'll be so much happier without the fear of defaulting on mortgage/car payments hanging over your head every waking moment of your day. Get that shit in order first, THEN focus on getting into a career that has opportunities to move up. Years later, when you are actually at an income level to support those other things, THEN you get to have a nice race car, go tracking, get uber-eats every day, and own a home with a garage. Not everyone has cheat codes to skip to the good stuff.

Stop comparing yourself to the old farts on here who won the lotto when they bought their house in 2008 when you were still in diapers, or the guys who have slaved away at their careers for 15-20 years to get where they are, or the assholes who came from rich families. Stop comparing yourself to your friends, who you thought you were better than at the time that you had successful businesses, but are now successful cause they've worked their way up in life. Everyone has their own path in life, some go in straight lines, some zig zag, some go backwards before they go forward again. But in the end, we all end up in the same place. It's not a race. So live YOUR life, not what you think would look good to others. Travel YOUR path and own it.

Spoiler!

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

Actually, I do like it. Hell I "pay" someone to sit in my car and literally yell at me all day. I tell people the cold hard truth all the time to support them and to be honest it's why I don't really tell people my problems because they just say "oh you're doing fine" or "it's fine you're young". No, the softness while appreciated doesn't work for me because I can't give myself the satisfaction of being ok with an excuse. Yes, I have been very complacent in 2024 but I normally don't give myself a chance to even fester in my thoughts. Weed is not good when you are not good. Anyway, you're free to treat my replies as an excuse or justification but this is kind of how I work out problems in my head via discussion. You're definitely not going to like my replies.



Lifestyle inflation is a bitch. 60K/yr was definitely doable when I didn't have home expenses AND well my cars were paid in cash. Albeit, they broke all the time and in the course of 3 years, I spent probably 30K on it. Purchase price 10K. $40K in 4 years but living comfortably. Which is the same cost as the CTR. I'm already at worst case scenario and I have worst case scenario plans that I just need to execute.

And tbh I get asked this all the time, idk how it works, but I always make it work. It's really just the unexpected track crash that threw off my cash flow and being too fucked on weed (as a result of other factors) to finish projects (which is how I normally funded my car hobby).



You're not wrong. As much as it's framed that way, there is an inherent selfishness to it which I'm constantly fighting between trying not be selfish by doing the right thing (in all aspects).

My dad is a hard liner for not paying for strata bc of the usual cons re strata, so TH/condo is out of the question automatically. Tho my dad was more than happy to just keep living in our (shitty) home environment. Mom, OTOH, really wanted a place and at the time we received notice for our office.

Requirements:
- Must have legal suite (mtg requirement)
-- Therefore SFH (which is why in 2020, in the RE thread, I considered moving to Aggasiz and making the commute. Which you guys told me it's a fucking awful idea and I listened. Bless you guys)
-- Suite is used for office (but tbh underutilized)
- Double car garage (my only requirement)
- Renovated (my parents' requirement bc they didn't want to do renos [big fu to EI renos tho fr])
- Min 4 bd, 3 ba (mom likes to have in-home office as well)

Honestly having experienced home ownership and living in a TH for most of life, I would rather pay strata to take care of all this shit I have zero experience in dealing with. ie. the most recent storm a branch fell down and I thought it was a tree falling down... so I called an arborist to remove something that could have easily been done myself. Tho at that time it was, idc how much money it costs, this needs to come down today or it'll fall on the power line/house.

I'll revisit the legal suite topic below as many others have discussed downsizing and/or renting something out.



It's not this. It's I like the self improvement I get from driving better. I treat track days as education or self growth. I set a goal (not time related) for every track day and I work on improving in those aspects.

One of my lifelong dreams is to start a charity that gives underprivileged teens the opportunity to experience this. I am 100% serious that I would not be alive without this "hobby" or community I got into. I enjoy building communities, making connections, and ultimately giving. I'm not gifted in driving. If I don't start making connections NOW and get decent at driving, this won't happen ever.

Plus which business doesn't love charitable donations for tax purposes AND they get a good rep for it. It's like when green-washing was big.



No. But, I don't buy clothes (I'm wearing the same jacket from 8th grade). I don't have any other hobbies, I don't travel, etc. I don't spend unnecessarily. It's literally just track period. I don't buy parts because it's a new car, it works out of the box. And yes there are consumables to consider, but I buy 3 owner old tires to track on. And my fluids/pads are all free for the rest of my life, thanks FCPEuro.

I should cut out my vaping habit once I'm in a better work environment. I depend on it to not walk out everyday or punch my boss. Often, our disagreements are so extreme that it looks like a father yelling at his son. Once I cut my vaping habit, it'll free up ~ $200-$300/mo.

I will cut out dining out. I do it out of fomo and the social aspect. I don't know how much this costs but I eat like I'm rich (price is irrelevant, not paying for shit food is) so there is likely a significant saving there.

I am not anticipating attending any track days in 2025. I might give in for a fire sale day, so I don't want to promise that.



I disagree with all of this. Those examples you listed are for weak minded people who I was all of 2024. You talk about COMPROMISE, but on the other token, you know how I fix this? I make more money. I do the projects I should be doing and I should be finding more clients. I have plenty of free time so I should be using it to earn more. 100% in agreement with Hehe on the money and high value individual aspect. Like I said, I don't know how but I always make it work.

I'm in this situation because I didn't plan for burning out and falling behind on projects.



Technically, my friend said it. I don't see it. But it is true that I'm having a difficult time with accepting that my plans aren't working out. I'm in Ops and have a background in accounting/consulting, so my nature is to meticulously plan everything and find the most optimal path to achieve it without too much lag time or redundancy. This goes for everything in my life, I'll touch on this in the next post re: actionable items.



I value the opinion of the old farts on here because they have 20 years on me, so they must have gone through some shit. I value Hehe's opinion because despite how much of a nepobaby he sounds like, based on what I read, it's not that. I value his opinion because entrepreneurs think differently.

Hell, it's easier for me to vent here because while I'm known, it doesn't feel like I'm crying for attention on my own social media like a basic bitch tumblr girl. And it beats reddit, because over the years it's not that anon and context is important to me. You can't call me out for not being honest and transparent.

I can't tell my friends because well I'd be a broken record and I don't want to be that ask-hole. Whereas, here, whatever. What are you going to do? Ban me? I need time to process and this is my second big thread re: burn out this year here. I'm at the point now where I think I'm ready to start building again.

And yes, this seems like a drastic change from a few days ago. But I didn't realize how much actually verbalizing it or putting it into text helps me clear some burden and per Westopher/Producer how unrealistic I am with holding myself to these standards and expectations. Thank you guys for all the support. Seriously. You're all internet people, but I value your experiences and I appreciate you for putting time and thought into helping me work out my problems.