[sonick]

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

Random 3:45am thought..

I wonder if 655 and the pressure of being the best there kinda fucked me up. The feeling of never being good enough, needing to be the best of the best, needing absolute perfection, and if you're not the best then you're shit and a waste of life. I wonder if all that as a HS kid, caused more issues than I actually know.. ..

I mean I wasn't complaining back then, but there's a chance it explains the extremely high desire to be perfect and the self worth issues as a result of it.

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That feeling is not unique to you, I think that's pretty much the feelings most kids of first gen immigrants feel. It won't be helpful if you try to externalize the reason for the position you are in now.