Quote:
Originally Posted by unit
as for me i won't have kids, i'm not really a kid person who knows how to play with a toddler and make them laugh. that being said i would never be rude to kids or parents with kids, and i actually don't mind hanging out with my friends even if they bring their kid along, it's the only way to stay friends with your friends who became parents. if you value your friendship with your parent friends then you should do the same. what i don't like is going to the kids bdays with 20 kids running around... i will come for the first hour then slip out the door quietly.. lol
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One of the challenges I've found when it comes to friends now that I have a kid (and I'm also older) is that my friend circle fractures into very different demographics:
- Friends with kids that are about the same age is my kid. Ideally the parents are a similar age to me too (this is a challenge for me sometimes).
- Friends with kids who are not similar ages to my kids.
- Friends with no kids who are in a long term relationship.
- Friends with no kids who are single.
Pre-kid I only had to think about group 3 and 4 and those two groups generally had similar lifestyles (before turning 40 they did) and hanging out together was EASY. Most of us made similar money, grew up with similar families, had few responsibilities, and we were still open to new things.
Managing all 4 demographics is way harder now - some of my no kid friends love kids, some of them don't. The no kid friends like later dinners, the parents gotta wrap up dinner by 7-ish to get the kids to bed or be home by 10p to relive the babysitter. BBQ get together? So and So's kid has a dance thing at 3pm, buttface's kid is going through teen drama, DINK gonna a FEW drinks and maybe smoke some weed. It's really hard to hang out with all 4 demographics at once - you can do it but it's kinda no fun to do it.
Example: I turn 50 in January and I've been thinking about whether I want to throw a party with my friends to celebrate - if I do my kid won't be there, she needs to be in bed by 8-ish. BUT I kinda want to spend my birthday with my kid. I can do both separately but $$$ and time.