Quote:
Originally Posted by PeanutButter
Looking for some advice.
We just found out a buddy (let's call him, John) has some sort of liver problem now and it's likely due to stress from his life and that he drinks a decent amount.
Now this is all second hand from his wife who talked to my wife about his condition. John's wife doesn't know he drinks a lot as he doesn't drink around her, but I know for a fact that he sneaks drinks in when she's not looking becaues i'm literally with him.
My wife told me I need to talk to him now that he has an actual liver condition and that I should tell him he needs to stop drinking.
What am I supposed to do here? Am I supposed to tell this grown ass friend of mine how to live his life and to change the person he is. Is this diagnosed condition not the wake up call he needs? He didn't even telll me about his condition and I saw him last week, doesn't that mean he doesn't want me to know?
I've known this guy a long ass time, but what's the call here?
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You don't need to "tell him how to live his life" but you should probably talk to him about it and offer support if you're more familiar and friendly with him than just a coworker.
The fact that he hides it from his wife is proof that he knows it's wrong, but he's an alcoholic so he just hides it.
But he still has to want to quit, and you can't force anything onto him. Declining health, even liver disease isn't enough to automatically make an alcoholic quit. "hitting rock bottom" isn't either, so snitching isn't going to make him quit either.
IMO offer support, but don't go into it thinking you can convince him to quit drinking. If he doesn't want to, then he won't. If he says sure I'd like to try, then go from there. First step there would probably be for him to tell his wife