Quote:
Originally Posted by twitchyzero
feel like ive been away from this subforum for years
mike i'm glad you're sorting things out and getting counselor involved
has she not lived with you for some time? why would you need to go public blue book to verify her income?!
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I've found couples (bf/gf, common law, or married) have different ways to handle the household finance, all which can work.
1. share all money in 1 bank
2. each person has separate accounts and then 1 joint account
3. each person maintains their separate account
the general goal that's met is that the main bills, like shelter, food and utilities is paid for then all is good with no need to know exactly how much the other is making.
Quote:
Originally Posted by westopher
I disagree with the childcare thing about the 9-5. My wife works a rotation and we get
A) more time alone
B) more time each solo parenting
Than any of the 9-5 families we know. I work Wednesday to Saturday (flexible) 10 hour days and she works two days 2 nights.
I get at least 2 days a month alone with the kid at daycare. Probably 3-4 days solo parenting, she gets several days a month solo with the kid at daycare, 3-4 days solo parenting.
We also get 3-4 days a month alone together while the kid is at daycare.
It’s so much better than 100% of your time being at work or family time. You get some freedom, some time to bond with your kid alone, and some time alone for your hobbies. It’s really good and I see the parents who spend 100% of their non daycare time as a family and they get so stuck in a rut because 100% of their identity is just parenting. They really become boring people.
People ask how we do it, but I just laugh and say man we’ve got it easy.
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I need to make some assumptions for this scenario.
1) everything is done between the 3 of you and zero help from friends and in-laws.
2) your wife is 0700-1900 for Day shift and 1900-0700 for Night shift.
3) your flexible for what days your work, but you work 10 hours straight and can't just walk away to do something for the kid and go back to work.
So in the scenario, it's a weekday, kid has daycare 9am-5pm, your wife has a day shift is out the door by 6am and home by 8pm. Wife's got zero opportunity to help with pickup/dropoff for the kid, that leaves you only. You drop off the kid at 830am, then head to work to start your 10 hours at 9am, It's now 7pm, but you were suppose to pick up your kid 2 hours ago from daycare. This scenario is even worse when the kid is in elementary school because they're out at 3pm. You'd be 4 hours late to pick them up.
In the scenario where your wife works a night shift is a little easier to make work but it's rough on her. So she works the night, gets off at 0700, stays awake to drop off kid for 9am, go home, eat, shower, sleep, then get up again to pick up for 5pm, stay awake and get ready to go again for night shift. When it's elementary school, that sleep time decreases by 2 hours to pick up at 3pm instead, but she's likely to still stay awake until she needs to return to work at night.
I'd be interested in hearing how the timing of things works for you in real life.
It seems common for 2 parents who work 8 hours a day mon-fri have offset start times, so 1 parent does the drop off and the other does the pick up.