Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerbs
I also concluded if I'm not down to spend money on them, maybe I'm not into them like that? Probably cause some of them told me they prefer a 80-100 / 0-20 dynamic for paying for dates. and i have no capacity atm to want to plan dates like that.
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I realized that I don't mind spending some money on someone that I actually vibe really well with, ie. paying for brunch with no expectations to (she did cook me dinner so i guess it evens out?), picking them up and driving them everywhere, hanging out with them doing silly things (like shopping I normally hate shopping), holding their bags/jackets (weirdly it did not make me feel emasculated).
But it's when they *expect* a specific structured dynamic of 80-110 / 0-20, is when that pisses me off or when they expect that dynamic, right off the rip and I don't even know who tf you are LOL.
I also realized my AuDHD (internet diagnosis) has an impact on dating - I'm either 0 or 100. If I don't vibe with them, I'm bored and out. If I vibe with them, I'm down to be all in (and then also over invest lol). My problem is that I find it so difficult to find someone I vibe with. Tbh, all I want is someone who I can be shamelessly stupid and silly with, and not have glaring red flags LOL