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Old 03-23-2026, 10:38 AM   #456
spoon.ek9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RabidRat View Post
Sounds like insecurity. The more someone's focused on external factors, the more likely it is that they're compensating for a lack of trust in themselves.



Doesn't that seem right though? Imo if anyone's spending any conscious time counting up with all the ways they're contributing, it just drives up the likelihood that they'd turn around and think "wait a minute... but what is everyone else doing for me, in return?"

Out of limited time and energy - trying to make it through a hard enough life as it is - it seems an unnecessary burden to think about a relationship as a series of ledgers.

I think a healthier way to think about things, is "what more could I do?", rather than "what am I already doing?".
This is how I had always approached relationships only to be met by women who kept calculating everything about me to the nth degree. I don't want to calculate, I don't want to compare. I just wanted bring my absolute best to each relationship and it always went to shit despite my best efforts. It was only after several terrible experiences that I started to learn what it is women are expecting and here we are.
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