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Vancouver Off-Topic / Current EventsThe off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum.
To wrap up this topic (should've started a thread lul), I just had a heart to heart with my mom. She echo'd that I was at my happiest when I was running several businesses at once. I wasn't really considering accounting jobs and therefore getting a CPA, but Gerbs showed me that a CPA isn't just full-cycle accounting, as there are many pathways.
I also had a brief chat with my boss on Friday and gave him a heads up that I'll need to leave soon. I need more pay and I know he can't give that to me - we had just wrapped up year end. I feel so much better having that convo, I think I was so scared of the convo it added to my stress all year.
I find it crazy that so much change has happened in the last week, but it only started because of all of your advice/vented here.
Gameplan:
- Finish projects to free up energy for resume and to get immediate cash, in conjunction with doing a few entrepreneurial things.
- Get a new job that pays for tuition, dental and health benefits
- Finish my BBA, get CPA or SCMP certification, depending on what I think I will want to do long term as I still need employment income for mortgage purposes
Let's see what I get done by Nov 2025. I'll update then, if interested.
Spoiler!
To sum it up, I'm deadset on things because I'm all or nothing type of person. I don't want to say I'll do something (ie. sell car/house/not track) and not do it. There's some trauma associated with this, but my word is and will always be "gold". Actions speak louder than words and I like to be a living example of it. Probably because of the high standards I hold myself - including not being a hypocrite.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tapioca
The good thing about 60K is that it's an entry level salary these days. You can easily find a entry-level job that pivots your skills and experience into a different industry or sector, without any further hit to your day-to-day finances.
My own recommendation would be to use your accounting background to find a role in a not-for-profit. There are lots of them around closer to home that are more than willing to pay someone like yourself half-wages for their needs. You would at least save some commuting time to free up your time and mind for other pursuits and a way to get your mental health back in order.
Feel free to DM if you want to toss around some ideas over a cup of coffee.
And yes, use AI as a thought-starter for your resume, which is what everyone does these days.
Thanks for the coffee offer, I'll reach out when I'm a bit more set up. The non-for-profit idea is a fantastic idea. I want to be doing something impactful. My bosses use "all hands on deck" all the time (despite everyone being at 110% capacity), but like... we're in the fashion industry....
AI is so ingenuine but my friend suggested I have a conversation with ChatGPT instead, so instead of plagiarizing it, I can use it to get ideas and put it in my own words.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CivicBlues
BIC BAWS...don't take this the wrong way but just based on your long rambling post I feel like you may have some more deep-seated anxiety issues at play here. Issues that aren't really healthy and won't really get resolved by getting a higher paying job or being more frugal with expenses.
I'm not saying just dive deep into psychotherapy right now but maybe take a step back and see if you can talk to someone about this even look into some free mental health resources available in the health system.
None taken, you're probably right. I would like to think that I'm pretty self-aware, but I think that only extends to how I treat others (not myself). I don't think it's normal to live a life full of contradictions/constant internal battles with myself, overthink/plan everything, hold myself to an extremely high standard, yet be able to give grace and support to others.
I'm hoping that more revenue = access to therapy or something. I will however look into some free mental health resources. Are the mental health apps any good? I keep getting ads for Unbounce or other apps.
LOL I also just got an ad on IG for life insurance
I am however actively trying to be more positive in all situations. I hear it helps with getting your brain to not feel bad.
Re: rambling - have you seen the pick a car thread... LOL
Quote:
Originally Posted by RabidRat
I feel your frustration. Please keep in mind though that perfection is the enemy of good. Imo you're going to have to lower your standards to take your first shot, and let it be a series of smaller steps rather than one huge perfect one.
If you put too much of your energy and hope into one or two major shots, it's going to leave you exhausted and unwilling to make those [perhaps many more] next attempts.
I'm doing ok in my career now, but it came out of 5 straight months of:
200 job applications -> trickling into 20 phone interviews -> trickling into 8 on-site interviews -> resulting in 3 job offers. That was 200 separate applications.
My resume started out super shitty but I just kept refining it as a continued applying and interviewing. It's a long process of iteration and the crucial step is to build the momentum. The other critical steps I bet you know more about than I do - being you were an entrepreneur - learning as you go, and getting back up more determined than ever to keep going, after a door shuts in your face. There are more doors, you have to keep going for them.
You are really motivating and inspiring me with your journey. I genuinely wish you the best in this.
Thank you. I appreciate the sentiment. I keep hearing about how hard it is to find a job, but I assumed it was for people that doesn't have a ton of experience. However, I'm assuming you have quite a bit and was still running into this scenario.
My friend also made a good point, my "50%" resume, might be someone else's 100%. So I should still be using it to apply. I think it'll be difficult to get all of my experience on the page and it'll definitely be more than the 1 page limit. I should really be logical in this aspect as I have quite a bit of experience on the hiring manager side of things.. so you'd think I would know what would be good/bad.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RabidRat
edit: your brain is wired for it to be hard to let go of things you already have, btw. i hope everyone gives you a break on hard it is to move on, because you are only being human. the only difference between you and them is your reference point has been skewed to the right by what you've been exposed to.
I didn't know about this. I thought I just didn't like to lose out on the upside - a hazard of occupation. Fully committing to the choices and adapting project plans to make it work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AstulzerRZD
tiffany who grew up with daddy issues and a lotta childhood trauma ain't it
Bro if it was a Tiffany with daddy issues, at least the sex would've been crazy good. Got put in the doghouse 2 mo in bc she had self image/worth issues so no intimacy at all (which is fine) but her personality sucked. She was miserable to be around.
WHICH IS WHY IM NOT DATING BECAUSE IM MISERABLE TO BE AROUND. Get my shit together first and then date.
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Unless you like schooling or you think this is the only way of accomplishing your goals, I wouldn’t focus on getting a cpa / other accounting designations. It sounds like you hate accounting anyways.
What’s the point of doing accounting if you’re going to be even more miserable
High paying and I only hate the tax side and full cycle side of accounting.
Plus mom and I will be able to bill at CPA rates instead of bookkeeper that knows tax and has experience rates.
The other designation mentioned is for supply chain, which I do enjoy, but I don't have formal education or YEARS OF EXPERIENCE in (10 in acct - 4 in supply chain)!
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|| SOLD 97 E36 M3 Sedan | Arctic Silver | 5MT ||
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|| RIP 02 E46 M3 | Carbon Black | 6MT ||
CPA is oversaturated with internal conflicts - Ontario just left and created their own.
Get SCMP/PMP and get badhobz to hire you… then replace him for the power move lmao
Willing to sell a family member for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: North vancouver
Posts: 12,766
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS
To wrap up this topic (should've started a thread lul), I just had a heart to heart with my mom. She echo'd that I was at my happiest when I was running several businesses at once. I wasn't really considering accounting jobs and therefore getting a CPA, but Gerbs showed me that a CPA isn't just full-cycle accounting, as there are many pathways.
I also had a brief chat with my boss on Friday and gave him a heads up that I'll need to leave soon. I need more pay and I know he can't give that to me - we had just wrapped up year end. I feel so much better having that convo, I think I was so scared of the convo it added to my stress all year.
I find it crazy that so much change has happened in the last week, but it only started because of all of your advice/vented here.
Gameplan:
- Finish projects to free up energy for resume and to get immediate cash, in conjunction with doing a few entrepreneurial things.
- Get a new job that pays for tuition, dental and health benefits
- Finish my BBA, get CPA or SCMP certification, depending on what I think I will want to do long term as I still need employment income for mortgage purposes
Let's see what I get done by Nov 2025. I'll update then, if interested.
Spoiler!
To sum it up, I'm deadset on things because I'm all or nothing type of person. I don't want to say I'll do something (ie. sell car/house/not track) and not do it. There's some trauma associated with this, but my word is and will always be "gold". Actions speak louder than words and I like to be a living example of it. Probably because of the high standards I hold myself - including not being a hypocrite.
Thanks for the coffee offer, I'll reach out when I'm a bit more set up. The non-for-profit idea is a fantastic idea. I want to be doing something impactful. My bosses use "all hands on deck" all the time (despite everyone being at 110% capacity), but like... we're in the fashion industry....
AI is so ingenuine but my friend suggested I have a conversation with ChatGPT instead, so instead of plagiarizing it, I can use it to get ideas and put it in my own words.
None taken, you're probably right. I would like to think that I'm pretty self-aware, but I think that only extends to how I treat others (not myself). I don't think it's normal to live a life full of contradictions/constant internal battles with myself, overthink/plan everything, hold myself to an extremely high standard, yet be able to give grace and support to others.
I'm hoping that more revenue = access to therapy or something. I will however look into some free mental health resources. Are the mental health apps any good? I keep getting ads for Unbounce or other apps.
LOL I also just got an ad on IG for life insurance
I am however actively trying to be more positive in all situations. I hear it helps with getting your brain to not feel bad.
Re: rambling - have you seen the pick a car thread... LOL
Thank you. I appreciate the sentiment. I keep hearing about how hard it is to find a job, but I assumed it was for people that doesn't have a ton of experience. However, I'm assuming you have quite a bit and was still running into this scenario.
My friend also made a good point, my "50%" resume, might be someone else's 100%. So I should still be using it to apply. I think it'll be difficult to get all of my experience on the page and it'll definitely be more than the 1 page limit. I should really be logical in this aspect as I have quite a bit of experience on the hiring manager side of things.. so you'd think I would know what would be good/bad.
I didn't know about this. I thought I just didn't like to lose out on the upside - a hazard of occupation. Fully committing to the choices and adapting project plans to make it work.
Bro if it was a Tiffany with daddy issues, at least the sex would've been crazy good. Got put in the doghouse 2 mo in bc she had self image/worth issues so no intimacy at all (which is fine) but her personality sucked. She was miserable to be around.
WHICH IS WHY IM NOT DATING BECAUSE IM MISERABLE TO BE AROUND. Get my shit together first and then date.
I think with your experience and having some drive you're going to have an easy time getting a job with better cash flow. It's not going to solve all your problems, but taking the first step is a big move and taking some financial stress out is going to be a big positive net to your stress and self worth Im betting.
__________________
98 technoviolet M3/2/5
Quote:
Originally Posted by boostfever
Westopher is correct.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fsy82
seems like you got a dick up your ass well..get that checked
Quote:
Originally Posted by punkwax
Well.. I’d hate to be the first to say it, but Westopher is correct.
You know, as a parent, I wouldn't blink at buying my kid a Ferrari if it meant a guarantee they'd study hard enough / stay off drugs long enough to get into post-secondary. I'd reverse-mortgage my house, downsize, and/or delay my retirement if I had to. That's an easy sacrifice.
The reason I wouldn't, is because it would really fuck up their lives.
What the hell could you even aspire to if you'd already had the best? What's the point anymore? There's just nothing to work towards. It's like starting an RPG at Lvl 99. It's fun for all of 15 minutes and then it's like "what are we doing here?".
What's after the Ferrari? That's the end game. It's all downhill from there. How could you derive ay happiness from driving any other car after owning something like that?
Makes them weak. If we've learned anything from Dragonball Z, it's that you only get stronger by getting your ass kicked through hardship.
My cousin is in that dilemma, his parents were working in another city due to their business. He got offered any car if he can make it to uni.
He signed up for flying school which required no pre-reqs. Got a $150K E63s and a detached house to live in. He doesn't have much aspiration for anything because even his salary at air canada for the first couple of years can't buy a better life than he already has.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AstulzerRZD
just gotta find the chicks who really value character and feels, lots of em out there
tiffany who grew up with daddy issues and a lotta childhood trauma ain't it
I can only imagine we're talking about the same tiff
Those office jobs are hard to get nowadays and not necessarily financially rewarding. Like if you look at the amount of work those cpa’s do, their per hour drops to a minuscule amount. Work vs effort.
While I agree the majority of CPA's suck. Within the 5-7 CPA's I talk to weekly, we're all 1 day office or full remote, free time for hobbies, averaging < 20 hours a week, and make > 5-10% median salary for working the little hours that we do. The beginning was $40K/year and you're on your knees playing politics. Took about 5-8 years to get to a good position for all of us. The real bread and butter is having a low stress and non time consuming job that allows the freedom to pursue fun side hustles to generate income to sustain expensive hobbies.+
Quote:
Originally Posted by Traum
Saw this bit and I am gonna say -- health benefits from work are a nice-to-have, but a bare bones safety net plan is sufficiently affordable to purchase on your own. IMO basic dental coverage that you can buy on your own, however, offers a fairly poor value for your money. So make sure you brush your teeth and floss on a daily basis bcos dental work is seriously $$$$$.
Also bear in mind that a lot of married couple get their extended health benefits off their spouse's work plan. A lot of couples I know have 1 partner working a steady, secure job with health coverage, while the other works a higher paying job with few other benefits.
Dental benefits are worth MAYBE $500-1,500 annually, just get paid more and pay the $100/month yourself. Health benefits should not be valued that much.
Gameplan:
- Finish projects to free up energy for resume and to get immediate cash, in conjunction with doing a few entrepreneurial things.
- Get a new job that pays for tuition, dental and health benefits
- Finish my BBA, get CPA or SCMP certification, depending on what I think I will want to do long term as I still need employment income for mortgage purposes
Saw this bit and I am gonna say -- health benefits from work are a nice-to-have, but a bare bones safety net plan is sufficiently affordable to purchase on your own. IMO basic dental coverage that you can buy on your own, however, offers a fairly poor value for your money. So make sure you brush your teeth and floss on a daily basis bcos dental work is seriously $$$$$.
Also bear in mind that a lot of married couple get their extended health benefits off their spouse's work plan. A lot of couples I know have 1 partner working a steady, secure job with health coverage, while the other works a higher paying job with few other benefits.
I finally caught up with the last few pages and I know there are solid actionable that are being set forward.
Holy fuck, Bobbinka has the post of the year!
I was just about to call out the delusion,
- Income $60K Gross
- $90 in Bank
- $2.5-3K/mo+ House payments? idk, guessing
- Missed car payment
- LOC @ 8%
- High KM CTR could be underwater on a $40K+ Loan?
- Cash flow is pay cheque to pay cheque and underwater
You're not in a position to be spending
- $200-300 on vape/weed
- Not looking at price when eating out and eating out most meals
- Spending $3-5K on track, $1.2K sim memby is the solution in the interim
- $300-400/month on gas
- $40K over 4 years on hobby related car maintenance/upgrades not including purchase
Not to be offensive, but I don't agree with others saying you're doing well for your age, that your way ahead and you shouldn't stress. It feels like you gave yourself 100% of the dopamine from owning a home, while contributing only 33% of the mortgage and < 5% down?
I don't know if this is true but not being able to manage a $600K mortgage payments with 4 incomes on a big SFH purchase is a bit odd. It seems to me that you never built the strong financial literacy from having to save the $200-600K+ for a SFH down payment. I can't see how you could live half the lifestyle above and save for any meaningful down payment. If that's true, it appears that the equity gained from inheriting a % ownership in the family home made you feel like you're in a better financial position than you're currently in. Which is only applicable if you have the ability and control to downsize and withdraw equity, which is impossible with 4 owner opinions.
There's a time to enjoy life in your 20's, not worry about spending and living a little, but this ain't it. This is a lifestyle of someone who's making on the lowest end $120-150K+ for 3+ years, has emergency funds and investments in check or someone who makes $80K+ and has 0 expenses living at home. The lifestyle inflations needs to be compromised asap and should be enjoyed after you increase your income via the actionable.
This should be a HUGEEEEEEEEE wakeup call for positive change, which you're actively seeking! You're spending money you don't have, on non-essentials you shouldn't have at this point in time.
Spoiler!
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobbinka
BIC_BAWS, it sounds like you got in way over your head. You came from one life, wanted to live the better life, but was not prepared for what the consequences were (how the mortgage weighs on you and affects your life decisions, how taxing the long commute is, how a 9-5 job wears you down).
Everything everyone else has said here is great, self improvement, talk to people, make connections, change careers for better opportunities, etc, but it doesn't address your problem in the short term.
I'm going to tell it to you as it is and you're not going to like it. You live paycheck to paycheck, have $90 in your account, and was late on a car payment. My friend, it's time to make some serious re-evaluations in life and address the problem before it spirals out of control. I've worked collections before. Once you fall behind, it becomes exponentially harder and harder to catch back up. You need to deal with this now. How long before it's a late mortgage payment? What happens if you, mom, or dad, get sick for an extended period of time or someone gets laid off? What if interest rates skyrocket to 8% when you need to re-finance?
I don't know how big your house is or what your mortgage payments are, but whatever it is, it's too much. You need to live within your means. You frame it as wanting your family to own their home etc, but the reality of it is that it's what you wanted. I'm sure mom and dad would be perfectly fine living in a 2 bedroom condo or smaller townhouse if it meant their kids could actually live their lives happily. You need to sit down with mom and dad and admit that your plan did not work out. If it means selling the place and downsizing together, or living separately in rentals, then so be it. You do what needs to be done. I'm sorry if that means you dont get to have a garage anymore.
I know this is a car forum, and everyone loves a CTR (I assume Civic Type-R), but you need to sell the car and stop financing. People make twice what you make and drive $30k-$40k cars. You've had your fun, you have pictures on the Gram to prove it, it's time to move on. Get into a cheap reliable car. You don't need a race car to be a car enthusiast. It's not forever, it's to help you get by until you have the means to live big in the future.
Expensive hobbies are for rich people. Does your bank account look like it belongs to a rich person?
You know the difference between the people who recover from these situations and those that spiral out of control until they declare bankruptcy? They COMPROMISE, take responsibility for their problem, and make big life changes to start dealing with it. Those people who cant recover are the ones who have an excuse for everything. They MUST have a brand new $100k pick-up truck, because they need it for work (when a used cheaper one would do). They MUST order take-out because they're too busy to cook. They MUST have expensive sushi because that's the only joy they get each week. They MUST keep the boat because it's almost paid off anyway. The people who fix their shit will eat mac and cheese everyday if they have to. They'll downsize, move to an older building, or move to a different city. They'll meal plan and find the most cost effective way to survive and still be healthy. Yea, it fucking sucks and it's not easy, but they get their life back on track and can actually live freely again.
You know why you're miserable? Because you are/were a cocky arrogant person (as you said) who was over confident in himself, so you think you're the shit and the decisions you make are great, and now when it's falling apart, it's fucking hard to swallow. I'm sure these tough times, while watching your friends succeed in life, are humbling though.
Live. Within. Your. Means. I promise you you'll be so much happier without the fear of defaulting on mortgage/car payments hanging over your head every waking moment of your day. Get that shit in order first, THEN focus on getting into a career that has opportunities to move up. Years later, when you are actually at an income level to support those other things, THEN you get to have a nice race car, go tracking, get uber-eats every day, and own a home with a garage. Not everyone has cheat codes to skip to the good stuff.
Stop comparing yourself to the old farts on here who won the lotto when they bought their house in 2008 when you were still in diapers, or the guys who have slaved away at their careers for 15-20 years to get where they are, or the assholes who came from rich families. Stop comparing yourself to your friends, who you thought you were better than at the time that you had successful businesses, but are now successful cause they've worked their way up in life. Everyone has their own path in life, some go in straight lines, some zig zag, some go backwards before they go forward again. But in the end, we all end up in the same place. It's not a race. So live YOUR life, not what you think would look good to others. Travel YOUR path and own it.
Spoiler!
Quote:
Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS
Actually, I do like it. Hell I "pay" someone to sit in my car and literally yell at me all day. I tell people the cold hard truth all the time to support them and to be honest it's why I don't really tell people my problems because they just say "oh you're doing fine" or "it's fine you're young". No, the softness while appreciated doesn't work for me because I can't give myself the satisfaction of being ok with an excuse. Yes, I have been very complacent in 2024 but I normally don't give myself a chance to even fester in my thoughts. Weed is not good when you are not good. Anyway, you're free to treat my replies as an excuse or justification but this is kind of how I work out problems in my head via discussion. You're definitely not going to like my replies.
Lifestyle inflation is a bitch. 60K/yr was definitely doable when I didn't have home expenses AND well my cars were paid in cash. Albeit, they broke all the time and in the course of 3 years, I spent probably 30K on it. Purchase price 10K. $40K in 4 years but living comfortably. Which is the same cost as the CTR. I'm already at worst case scenario and I have worst case scenario plans that I just need to execute.
And tbh I get asked this all the time, idk how it works, but I always make it work. It's really just the unexpected track crash that threw off my cash flow and being too fucked on weed (as a result of other factors) to finish projects (which is how I normally funded my car hobby).
You're not wrong. As much as it's framed that way, there is an inherent selfishness to it which I'm constantly fighting between trying not be selfish by doing the right thing (in all aspects).
My dad is a hard liner for not paying for strata bc of the usual cons re strata, so TH/condo is out of the question automatically. Tho my dad was more than happy to just keep living in our (shitty) home environment. Mom, OTOH, really wanted a place and at the time we received notice for our office.
Requirements:
- Must have legal suite (mtg requirement)
-- Therefore SFH (which is why in 2020, in the RE thread, I considered moving to Aggasiz and making the commute. Which you guys told me it's a fucking awful idea and I listened. Bless you guys)
-- Suite is used for office (but tbh underutilized)
- Double car garage (my only requirement)
- Renovated (my parents' requirement bc they didn't want to do renos [big fu to EI renos tho fr])
- Min 4 bd, 3 ba (mom likes to have in-home office as well)
Honestly having experienced home ownership and living in a TH for most of life, I would rather pay strata to take care of all this shit I have zero experience in dealing with. ie. the most recent storm a branch fell down and I thought it was a tree falling down... so I called an arborist to remove something that could have easily been done myself. Tho at that time it was, idc how much money it costs, this needs to come down today or it'll fall on the power line/house.
I'll revisit the legal suite topic below as many others have discussed downsizing and/or renting something out.
It's not this. It's I like the self improvement I get from driving better. I treat track days as education or self growth. I set a goal (not time related) for every track day and I work on improving in those aspects.
One of my lifelong dreams is to start a charity that gives underprivileged teens the opportunity to experience this. I am 100% serious that I would not be alive without this "hobby" or community I got into. I enjoy building communities, making connections, and ultimately giving. I'm not gifted in driving. If I don't start making connections NOW and get decent at driving, this won't happen ever.
Plus which business doesn't love charitable donations for tax purposes AND they get a good rep for it. It's like when green-washing was big.
No. But, I don't buy clothes (I'm wearing the same jacket from 8th grade). I don't have any other hobbies, I don't travel, etc. I don't spend unnecessarily. It's literally just track period. I don't buy parts because it's a new car, it works out of the box. And yes there are consumables to consider, but I buy 3 owner old tires to track on. And my fluids/pads are all free for the rest of my life, thanks FCPEuro.
I should cut out my vaping habit once I'm in a better work environment. I depend on it to not walk out everyday or punch my boss. Often, our disagreements are so extreme that it looks like a father yelling at his son. Once I cut my vaping habit, it'll free up ~ $200-$300/mo.
I will cut out dining out. I do it out of fomo and the social aspect. I don't know how much this costs but I eat like I'm rich (price is irrelevant, not paying for shit food is) so there is likely a significant saving there.
I am not anticipating attending any track days in 2025. I might give in for a fire sale day, so I don't want to promise that.
I disagree with all of this. Those examples you listed are for weak minded people who I was all of 2024. You talk about COMPROMISE, but on the other token, you know how I fix this? I make more money. I do the projects I should be doing and I should be finding more clients. I have plenty of free time so I should be using it to earn more. 100% in agreement with Hehe on the money and high value individual aspect. Like I said, I don't know how but I always make it work.
I'm in this situation because I didn't plan for burning out and falling behind on projects.
Technically, my friend said it. I don't see it. But it is true that I'm having a difficult time with accepting that my plans aren't working out. I'm in Ops and have a background in accounting/consulting, so my nature is to meticulously plan everything and find the most optimal path to achieve it without too much lag time or redundancy. This goes for everything in my life, I'll touch on this in the next post re: actionable items.
I value the opinion of the old farts on here because they have 20 years on me, so they must have gone through some shit. I value Hehe's opinion because despite how much of a nepobaby he sounds like, based on what I read, it's not that. I value his opinion because entrepreneurs think differently.
Hell, it's easier for me to vent here because while I'm known, it doesn't feel like I'm crying for attention on my own social media like a basic bitch tumblr girl. And it beats reddit, because over the years it's not that anon and context is important to me. You can't call me out for not being honest and transparent.
I can't tell my friends because well I'd be a broken record and I don't want to be that ask-hole. Whereas, here, whatever. What are you going to do? Ban me? I need time to process and this is my second big thread re: burn out this year here. I'm at the point now where I think I'm ready to start building again.
And yes, this seems like a drastic change from a few days ago. But I didn't realize how much actually verbalizing it or putting it into text helps me clear some burden and per Westopher/Producer how unrealistic I am with holding myself to these standards and expectations. Thank you guys for all the support. Seriously. You're all internet people, but I value your experiences and I appreciate you for putting time and thought into helping me work out my problems.
100% in agreement with the "not doing well for my age thing". I feel like it devalues your experience, where you did have to grind for your first place.
This is precisely why I don't celebrate my own achievements, BC what achievements.
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__________________
|| 18 FK8 | R-18692 | Rallye Red | 6 MT ||
|| SOLD 97 E36 M3 Sedan | Arctic Silver | 5MT ||
|| RIP 02 E46 330ci | Schwartz Black II | 5MT | M-Tech II | Black Cube | Shadowline | Stoff Laser/Anthrazit ||
|| RIP 02 E46 M3 | Carbon Black | 6MT ||
Stupid home wrecking whores !!! The only one for me is spy ballooooon. She’s the best sassy little cunt in the world. Plus I’m genuinely scared of her voodoo witch powers. She seems to be able curse me if I don’t listen to her tiny 5 foot nothing ass.
if things don't work out for me, i'm counting on you to send some rich hoes my way lol.
Okay but it comes with a whole bunch of yarrr yarrrr ni haoooorrr marrrr !!! Kinda shit. If you can’t stand that crap then I gotta dig through my bag of Guangdong muis and they are broke as shit nowadays
And given the vintage a lot of them are pre menopausal and cunty as fuck. High mileage, neglected maintenance, multiple owners and lots of dings on the body
Oooh, if you could do that, that would be great. I didn't know it was that easy and it's what 4 pages of it? I didn't want to bother an admin with it.
This title sounds good too. I feel bad about it continuing to clog up the no need to start a thread thread.
Thanks!
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Thread forked. No worries man, I'm happy to do it!
The discussion deserves its own corner of RS for sure. There's such an epic level of perspective coming from all around : I'm sure I'm not the only one learning a lot from everyone else.
Okay but it comes with a whole bunch of yarrr yarrrr ni haoooorrr marrrr !!! Kinda shit. If you can’t stand that crap then I gotta dig through my bag of Guangdong muis and they are broke as shit nowadays
And given the vintage a lot of them are pre menopausal and cunty as fuck. High mileage, neglected maintenance, multiple owners and lots of dings on the body
not gonna lie, mandarin is usually a boner killer for me but if it means i can be a rich house husband and just cook/clean i might be down
I just stumbled on this thread, I feel like I'm in a similar situation but I guess everyone else my age is in the same boat straddled with mtg. At least we're not renting.
Just a few suggestions. Can you rent anything out? Air BNB $1000 a month will help out greatly. Rent out the garage? Cough as a garage or convert it into something? When does your mtg heloc mature? $600k split between 3 incomes isn't the worse. You have no strata. You can definitely look for better rates, switch lenders to get cash back, lower rates. Go on variable, rates will continue to drop. I think paying less into the heloc isn't the worse case, just restretch the amortization. As land value appreciation should cover that. That's the whole point of a heloc vs mtg, you have more flexibility than just making fixed payments. I think the Asian mentality of not owing money really hurts people. Yes you have a $2m house paid off. But no savings in the bank when you retire and can't pay property tax. Do you have any savings left? I think putting a few hundred a month to start on something like wealth simple into like a S&p etf to build some savings is a good thing rather than spending every dollar on payments to pay off quicker. Or some high yield stock dividend funds to pay monthly dividends to build cash flow a long with drip to auto build your portfolio.
I feel your frustration. Please keep in mind though that perfection is the enemy of good. Imo you're going to have to lower your standards to take your first shot, and let it be a series of smaller steps rather than one huge perfect one.
If you put too much of your energy and hope into one or two major shots, it's going to leave you exhausted and unwilling to make those [perhaps many more] next attempts.
I'm doing ok in my career now, but it came out of 5 straight months of:
200 job applications -> trickling into 20 phone interviews -> trickling into 8 on-site interviews -> resulting in 3 job offers. That was 200 separate applications.
My resume started out super shitty but I just kept refining it as a continued applying and interviewing. It's a long process of iteration and the crucial step is to build the momentum. The other critical steps I bet you know more about than I do - being you were an entrepreneur - learning as you go, and getting back up more determined than ever to keep going, after a door shuts in your face. There are more doors, you have to keep going for them.
You are really motivating and inspiring me with your journey. I genuinely wish you the best in this.
Thank you. I appreciate the sentiment. I keep hearing about how hard it is to find a job, but I assumed it was for people that doesn't have a ton of experience. However, I'm assuming you have quite a bit and was still running into this scenario.
Yeah at that point, I'd worked at Blackberry and then Cisco for a couple of years, designing high-speed digital logic boards.
It was wildly unpredictable whether I'd even hear anything back for positions that I was kind of overqualified for, vs surprisingly getting immediate calls back for positions that I was very underqualified for. The Microsoft Xbox hardware team comes to mind: the engineering manager called me directly and said he was straight up skipping HR because he needed someone and they're too damn slow... and can he just phone screen me right now, and could I manage to fly out in the next couple days? (I got an offer out of that one!)
Also, having been on the other side of it for the last 9 years, it really is completely random and unpredictable what's happening behind the scenes. HR randomly sends us resumes that are hardly related to the position we're hiring for but neglects tons of other really good ones; budgets / headcounts open up and get taken away / transferred unexpectedly; sometimes a horde of very qualified candidates show up and we have to reject a lot of really strong candidates because we only had the one opening; or there are no decent candidates but we're just freaking desperate to get some help so we take a chance hiring somebody we'd normally never even spend the time to interview. It's really crazy. And it's not a startup / small company thing either: I worked at [still work for] one of the biggest tech companies in Silicon Valley. Hiring processes are bananas.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS
Quote:
Originally Posted by RabidRat
edit: your brain is wired for it to be hard to let go of things you already have, btw. i hope everyone gives you a break on hard it is to move on, because you are only being human. the only difference between you and them is your reference point has been skewed to the right by what you've been exposed to.
I didn't know about this. I thought I just didn't like to lose out on the upside - a hazard of occupation. Fully committing to the choices and adapting project plans to make it work.
Yep I think it's both. Unrealized upsides, also feel like loss. Especially if you've internalized how it would feel to succeed. Humans struggle to let go of things that they feel they either deserve or already have. Apparently!
Source: "Thinking Fast and Slow" by Daniel Kahneman. He won a Nobel prize for Prospect Theory, which this Loss Aversion plays into. It's a hell of a book all about human behavior (behavioral economics, specifically). I'm half way through listening to the audiobook right now. I've been liking it so much that I bought copies for my parents in Chinese lol.
To add to my post, please get your parents out of gics, rates are dropping, have you looked at any after hour gigs, type r should be new enough to Uber, food delivery? I know the cash rate for house cleaning starts at $20 an hour cash. Just saying. Maybe 3 hours a day on the weekend or after work. That's extra $120 income a week x4 =$480 month. That's a car payment right there.
I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but even if you were to start having an income of 150k+, you'd probably be in even more debt that you are in now.
Well, at least not unless you make major changes in the way you approach making financial decisions.
People who keep talking about waiting for more money to come in most likely means that they have already spent it before they've ve actual made that much, and that happens at any income level. It just means spending even more money they don't have the more money they make.
__________________ Never argue with a dumbass, they drag you down to their level and try to beat you with experience
Yes, more money = more debt. You will just have a bigger mtg, and Integra type s instead of type r. My goal is to be financially independent from my job so I don't need money from my job to survive.
I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but even if you were to start having an income of 150k+, you'd probably be in even more debt that you are in now.
Well, at least not unless you make major changes in the way you approach making financial decisions.
People who keep talking about waiting for more money to come in most likely means that they have already spent it before they've ve actual made that much, and that happens at any income level. It just means spending even more money they don't have the more money they make.
Ya uh.. I don't know if I posted it here.. but I told Gerbs. There's like 80K lost on risky investments. 30K for my investment and 50K for my mom's investment. Apparently greedy + desperation does not mix well.
100% financial literacy needs work. Which is ironic because by trade I'm in accounting lol
__________________
|| 18 FK8 | R-18692 | Rallye Red | 6 MT ||
|| SOLD 97 E36 M3 Sedan | Arctic Silver | 5MT ||
|| RIP 02 E46 330ci | Schwartz Black II | 5MT | M-Tech II | Black Cube | Shadowline | Stoff Laser/Anthrazit ||
|| RIP 02 E46 M3 | Carbon Black | 6MT ||
Yeah but it’s these risks that pays off and you’re set for life or you’re doomed.
I took my student loan money and gambled it on GM stock (pre bail out when they were down to like less than 2 bucks a share) It was enough to pay for my house and my Maserati. Otherwise I’d be in the same position as you BiC.
I knew the government wouldn’t let such a huge automaker fail. It was an insane gamble for a university history / philosophy student riddled with debt.
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: I'm sure I'm not the only one learning a lot from everyone else.
yea that's why I say S&p that should be more than enough returns for the average boomer.
