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03-05-2009, 04:46 AM
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#1
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Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: MacLeod
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Help proof read orange7's assignment paper
mod please delete.. orange7 has found his dog..
Last edited by orange7; 03-05-2009 at 11:02 AM.
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03-05-2009, 09:53 AM
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#2
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14 dolla balla aint got nothing on me!
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Vancouver
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no thanks. =-)
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03-05-2009, 10:01 AM
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#3
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VLS Barista Brat
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Richmond
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tl;dr
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Quem deus vult perdere dementat prius.
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03-05-2009, 10:06 AM
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#4
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VLS Barista Brat
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Richmond
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Seriously though - I'm assuming your first paragraph is the intro? If so, it doesn't tell me what your argument is.
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Quem deus vult perdere dementat prius.
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03-05-2009, 10:53 AM
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#5
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Willing to sell body for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Vancouver
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What grade are you in? I'm sorry to say this, but it was very hard to read.
This is probably too late, but here goes...
Quote:
Originally Posted by orange7
Jackson and Sleigh argue that “many people directly affected by the TGD will become worse off… and some may never recover socially or economically” (225) because the compensation to those who voluntary resettle is inadequate.
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Voluntarily, not voluntary.
Quote:
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However, if the government make better compensation, then crop growers should move into the urban area and give their children the opportunity to enrol in school.
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I think "made" would be the proper tense.
And don't finish your paragraph with "aren't", a contraction. It sounds very informal.
__________________
Do Not Put Aftershave on Your Balls. -604CEFIRO
Looks like I'm gonna have some hot sex again tonight...OOPS i got the 6 pack. that wont last me the night, I better go back and get the 24 pack! -Turbo E
kinda off topic but obama is a dilf - miss_crayon
Honest to fucking Christ the easiest way to get a married woman in the mood is clean the house and do the laundry.....I've been with the same girl almost 17 years, ask me how I know. - quasi
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03-05-2009, 10:54 AM
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#6
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Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: MacLeod
Posts: 7,298
Thanked 542 Times in 289 Posts
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^
good point
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03-05-2009, 11:01 AM
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#7
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Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: MacLeod
Posts: 7,298
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gumby
What grade are you in? I'm sorry to say this, but it was very hard to read.
This is probably too late, but here goes...
Voluntarily, not voluntary.
I think "made" would be the proper tense.
And don't finish your paragraph with "aren't", a contraction. It sounds very informal.
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ya.. thanks.. i see those mistakes now..
wow.. i can't believe i made those errors..
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03-05-2009, 12:56 PM
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#8
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VLS Barista Brat
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Richmond
Posts: 9,180
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I agree with Gumby - hard to read. First sentence is unwieldy, there was a part that looked like you were citing something but you didn't have a source... Since you took it down, I can't critique it anymore.
__________________
Quem deus vult perdere dementat prius.
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03-05-2009, 10:36 PM
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#9
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Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: MacLeod
Posts: 7,298
Thanked 542 Times in 289 Posts
Failed 1,639 Times in 418 Posts
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haha.. ya.. there was a citation... but i didn't provide the source on rs cuz i didn't think it would be neccessary..
anyways.. thanks all..
i've handed in my hwk paper already...
too late to do anything about it.
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