The Modern Dating Thread

[spoon.ek9]

It's not too surprising to be honest. Women have been telling each other what to demand from men and spend zero time talking about what they could/should do for their man.

Even when I asked my friend (who's married with kids) what she brings to the table, she couldn't give me an answer. She's a good mom, she's smart pharmacist, cooks elaborate Chinese meals, and takes care of her husband when needed. Those are all excellent traits to have in a wife. But for her to actually sit down and think about any of that was just drawing blanks in her mind.

This is in contrast to the laundry list of demands for what men should offer. Lots of girls with the "I'm the prize" or "I am the table" or "I bring my presence" mentalities

[Traum]

Originally Posted by spoon.ek9

Even when I asked my friend (who's married with kids) what she brings to the table, she couldn't give me an answer. She's a good mom, she's smart pharmacist, cooks elaborate Chinese meals, and takes care of her husband when needed. Those are all excellent traits to have in a wife. But for her to actually sit down and think about any of that was just drawing blanks in her mind.

To be fair though, I think a lot of people don't know / are not able to name even a tenth of their own strengths even though they possess those strengths, and continue to practice those strengths on a daily basis. So I am not surprised by your female friend's inability to name what she brings to the table despite her many good qualities.

I also know more than a few people who are like that.

And then you run into other people who claim they have all these strengths, and are all that, and none of it is true.

[RabidRat]

Originally Posted by spoon.ek9

It's not too surprising to be honest. Women have been telling each other what to demand from men and spend zero time talking about what they could/should do for their man.

Sounds like insecurity. The more someone's focused on external factors, the more likely it is that they're compensating for a lack of trust in themselves.

Originally Posted by spoon.ek9

Even when I asked my friend (who's married with kids) what she brings to the table, she couldn't give me an answer. She's a good mom, she's smart pharmacist, cooks elaborate Chinese meals, and takes care of her husband when needed. Those are all excellent traits to have in a wife. But for her to actually sit down and think about any of that was just drawing blanks in her mind.

Doesn't that seem right though? Imo if anyone's spending any conscious time counting up with all the ways they're contributing, it just drives up the likelihood that they'd turn around and think "wait a minute... but what is everyone else doing for me, in return?"

Out of limited time and energy - trying to make it through a hard enough life as it is - it seems an unnecessary burden to think about a relationship as a series of ledgers.

I think a healthier way to think about things, is "what more could I do?", rather than "what am I already doing?".

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by 68style

Jesus people still need instruction manuals for the very basics of relating to or caring about another person after thousands of years?

girls were taught on what a man can do for her and if he doesn't elevate her life she's staying single, extra cooked if dad was successful / great father



men were taught how to treat girls growing up

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by RabidRat

I think a healthier way to think about things, is "what more could I do?", rather than "what am I already doing?".

the modern era is, girl is doing something good for her partner, then all their gfs are telling girl, you shouldn't do anything for your mans, I ain't doing shit. he should be doing all this for you queen.

as he fucking should!

[spoon.ek9]

Originally Posted by RabidRat

Sounds like insecurity. The more someone's focused on external factors, the more likely it is that they're compensating for a lack of trust in themselves.



Doesn't that seem right though? Imo if anyone's spending any conscious time counting up with all the ways they're contributing, it just drives up the likelihood that they'd turn around and think "wait a minute... but what is everyone else doing for me, in return?"

Out of limited time and energy - trying to make it through a hard enough life as it is - it seems an unnecessary burden to think about a relationship as a series of ledgers.

I think a healthier way to think about things, is "what more could I do?", rather than "what am I already doing?".

This is how I had always approached relationships only to be met by women who kept calculating everything about me to the nth degree. I don't want to calculate, I don't want to compare. I just wanted bring my absolute best to each relationship and it always went to shit despite my best efforts. It was only after several terrible experiences that I started to learn what it is women are expecting and here we are.

[Badhobz]

this new group of women in the dating pool sounds about as bad as modern day cars.

High strung, unreliable, overpriced, lackluster and unnecessary features and lame resale value

ill stick with my old battleaxe!

[GS8]

Originally Posted by 68style

Jesus people still need instruction manuals for the very basics of relating to or caring about another person after thousands of years?

People addicted to screens remind me exactly of long-term prisoners.

When both are free from their cells, neither know how to function in the real world.

[68style]

Originally Posted by Gerbs

girls were taught on what a man can do for her and if he doesn't elevate her life she's staying single, extra cooked if dad was successful / great father



men were taught how to treat girls growing up

I think that’s just girls you talk to dude, tonnes of girls have their own interesting shit going on and aren’t sitting around waiting for a daddy