The Modern Dating Thread

[BIC_BAWS]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DSkbl...NnNDNjdGszYw==

[donk.]

Originally Posted by Tapioca

How many of the guys who are dating today are only going after Asian girls vs non-Asians?

All of this talk about minimum amounts for dates is really only limited to Asian girls who arguably are in higher demand because there are a lot of Asian guys lacking confidence who tolerate their behaviour.

And how many here who are dating now or have recently dated are passing over "mid" women?

Not dating: but when i was, the worst class of woman was persian

They are probably brainwashed from their moms and friends, worse than any other class of woman ive seen

[CivicBlues]

^What show is that? Looks early 2000s-ish

Hoeflation gone crazy now since then.

[unit]

Originally Posted by donk.

Not dating: but when i was, the worst class of woman was persian

They are probably brainwashed from their moms and friends, worse than any other class of woman ive seen

there are some high maintenance ones who set some bad stereotypes for the rest of them but i dated two completely normal ones and most of their close friends were totally normal too.
of course while with them i met some people in their (loose) circle that i didnt like, but that's pretty normal with any group of people.

[BIC_BAWS]

Originally Posted by CivicBlues

^What show is that? Looks early 2000s-ish

Hoeflation gone crazy now since then.

Looks like it's called "Moment of Truth" and spot on for the time period. Aired in 2008 for two seasons.

Man I miss 2000s television LOL

[Badhobz]

YouTube

rS community 2026

[spoon.ek9]

A few thoughts:

1. Girls have been trying to teach each other that coffee dates are low effort and only done by broke boys. In reality, there are many benefits to this style of a first date but many girls simply want you to "prove you're a provider" so something like this simply won't cut it. Do yourself a favour and walk away from girls who straight up demand a fancy dinner right off the bat.

2. the dollar amount spent on a dinner is difficult for those of you who've long been married for a very specific reason. with apps, you're literally talking about treating a total stranger to an expensive meal who is for SURE talking to multiple other dudes. this isn't the same as traditional dating where you got to know someone in person over the course or weeks/months/years and finally have the opportunity to take them out after already establishing mutual interest. so to expect us as men to shell out $200-$300 for a dinner with some rando is not a smart idea nor does it generally lead to any kind of success with said girl.

3. i find the general disconnect in dating these days stems from wanting all the traditional aspects of dating (picking them up, opening doors, paying for the meal) while providing none of the traditional things on their end themselves. girls are quick to tell you what men should do but try asking them (definitely can't tell them) what it is they think women should do and you'll see how high the double standards are nowadays.

4. I remember one girl on an app who was truthful on her profile and said she is currently pregnant with her ex's baby and that she is keeping it. You'd have to be an absolute idiot to walk into a situation like that or desperate AF. Even then, single moms also have extremely high standards and will gaslight you into believing you're lucky to even be considered (ask me how I know).


Takeaway message:

I can tell you from personal experience that paying for expensive dinners didn't lead to much of anything when I was still out there. Save your money for the girl who proves she's worth it.

[donk.]

Originally Posted by spoon.ek9

Even then, single moms also have extremely high standards and will gaslight you into believing you're lucky to even be considered (ask me how I know).


.

Thats the wildest thing ive read all month lol

[bcrdukes]

Originally Posted by spoon.ek9

Even then, single moms also have extremely high standards and will gaslight you into believing you're lucky to even be considered (ask me how I know).

Sir, how do you know?

[BIC_BAWS]

Originally Posted by spoon.ek9

Even then, single moms also have extremely high standards and will gaslight you into believing you're lucky to even be considered (ask me how I know).

i concur. My example of the "as you should" girl posted prev. is a single mom with two kids.. who doesn't even have custody of their kids...

[HonestTea]

Originally Posted by spoon.ek9

A few thoughts:

1. Girls have been trying to teach each other that coffee dates are low effort and only done by broke boys. In reality, there are many benefits to this style of a first date but many girls simply want you to "prove you're a provider" so something like this simply won't cut it. Do yourself a favour and walk away from girls who straight up demand a fancy dinner right off the bat.

2. the dollar amount spent on a dinner is difficult for those of you who've long been married for a very specific reason. with apps, you're literally talking about treating a total stranger to an expensive meal who is for SURE talking to multiple other dudes. this isn't the same as traditional dating where you got to know someone in person over the course or weeks/months/years and finally have the opportunity to take them out after already establishing mutual interest. so to expect us as men to shell out $200-$300 for a dinner with some rando is not a smart idea nor does it generally lead to any kind of success with said girl.

3. i find the general disconnect in dating these days stems from wanting all the traditional aspects of dating (picking them up, opening doors, paying for the meal) while providing none of the traditional things on their end themselves. girls are quick to tell you what men should do but try asking them (definitely can't tell them) what it is they think women should do and you'll see how high the double standards are nowadays.

4. I remember one girl on an app who was truthful on her profile and said she is currently pregnant with her ex's baby and that she is keeping it. You'd have to be an absolute idiot to walk into a situation like that or desperate AF. Even then, single moms also have extremely high standards and will gaslight you into believing you're lucky to even be considered (ask me how I know).


Takeaway message:

I can tell you from personal experience that paying for expensive dinners didn't lead to much of anything when I was still out there. Save your money for the girl who proves she's worth it.

Wish I could double like this post. So true on all aspects.

[UnknownJinX]

I have been on Hinge for a while, but nowadays I am pretty relaxed about it (and about dating in general - don't want to force it). I do find it crazy online (mainly Reddit, so I guess understandable) how some people are complaining about 8 free daily likes not being enough. Like bruh, how much time are you spending on the app?

Get matches once in a while and I am generally fine with paying for a dinner. Good opportunity to try out restaurants, I suppose. That said, if someone thinks it's their God-given right or something to eat something super expensive then yeah, I'm out.

As for IRL, once in a while I can vibe with someone but I don't think I'd ever pick up someone at the gym. Just awkward for me to start a convo if I have to force it and well, most people go to the gym to work out, not to find partners. YMMV, of course.

[spoon.ek9]

Originally Posted by bcrdukes

Sir, how do you know?

One girl I had met, it wasn't until maybe date number 3 or 4 where she finally told me she had a son from a previous marriage. In order to manipulate the situation in her favour she told me things like "he's an amazing person and you'd be LUCKY to have him in your life". Girl, stfu. If you had been honest from the get go about having a kid I wouldn't have wasted any of my time considering you.

I used to think it's the noble thing to step up and be a father figure in this situation but that is flawed thinking. You're adding drama to your life no matter how you cut it. You are walking into a scenario where you have zero authority. You'll be met with things like don't tell my kid what to do, you're not his father. Or the kid themselves saying I don't have to listen to you, you ain't my dad. A lot of single moms simply want someone to finance their lifestyle and you're the sucker they have their eyes on.

Also, single moms KNOW they are at a huge disadvantage because why would a guy knowingly choose extra responsibility rather than starting fresh with a girl who has zero baggage? So how do you correct this disadvantage? Gaslight the men into thinking they're not a real man if they aren't willing to accept responsibility. It's not the mom's fault, it's yours! Imagine that

Let's not forget that you'll never hear the true story as to why things didn't work out in previous marriage/relationship. Accountability is often a one way street with these types. Did they cheat? Did they steal money? Did they start physical altercations and then claim to be the victim then call police? You'll never know so why choose this girl? Sure, some of them might actually tell you the truth but again, good luck with that.

[bcrdukes]

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.

[noclue]

At some point the dad will come back into the picture and create a ton of drama. And if you get attached to the kid but you break up you have no legal rights. If she's a single mom through no fault of her own (widow) you could maybe overlook it but otherwise it aint worth it brah.

[Badhobz]

Originally Posted by spoon.ek9

One girl I had met, it wasn't until maybe date number 3 or 4 where she finally told me she had a son from a previous marriage. In order to manipulate the situation in her favour she told me things like "he's an amazing person and you'd be LUCKY to have him in your life". Girl, stfu. If you had been honest from the get go about having a kid I wouldn't have wasted any of my time considering you.

I used to think it's the noble thing to step up and be a father figure in this situation but that is flawed thinking. You're adding drama to your life no matter how you cut it. You are walking into a scenario where you have zero authority. You'll be met with things like don't tell my kid what to do, you're not his father. Or the kid themselves saying I don't have to listen to you, you ain't my dad. A lot of single moms simply want someone to finance their lifestyle and you're the sucker they have their eyes on.

Also, single moms KNOW they are at a huge disadvantage because why would a guy knowingly choose extra responsibility rather than starting fresh with a girl who has zero baggage? So how do you correct this disadvantage? Gaslight the men into thinking they're not a real man if they aren't willing to accept responsibility. It's not the mom's fault, it's yours! Imagine that

Let's not forget that you'll never hear the true story as to why things didn't work out in previous marriage/relationship. Accountability is often a one way street with these types. Did they cheat? Did they steal money? Did they start physical altercations and then claim to be the victim then call police? You'll never know so why choose this girl? Sure, some of them might actually tell you the truth but again, good luck with that.

pssshh if this trash kid was so great, she wouldn't have needed to hide him...

yeah great fucking plan bitch, hide Quassimodo in the belltower till you get a few free meals. Lousy Cunt

[bcrdukes]

ok, spoon.ek9 - Was she at least hot?

[djstyles]

"You'd be lucky to take on my baggage" is what that sounded like. No thanks lady, make like Michael Jackson and beat it.

[spoon.ek9]

Originally Posted by bcrdukes

ok, spoon.ek9 - Was she at least hot?

for a Chinese girl, let's say 7/10

[bcrdukes]

I guess the crazy factor goes up the hotter they get.

[Badhobz]

Soooo my ex girlfriend wayyyy back in 2003-2007 was bat shit insane.
She was quite hot, but my god the insanity. She poked holes in condoms. Accused me of cheating on her and even had a private investigator follow me around to see if I was cheating. She then cheated on me as “preemptive” action because in her mind I was fucking all these other girls.

All the while she planned this elaborate wedding and even forced me to go to church so she can get this downtown fancy church place.

Fucking insane bitch. She was also the one who introduced me to the world of anal…. Yah thanks for that.

[EvoFire]

Originally Posted by Badhobz

Soooo my ex girlfriend wayyyy back in 2003-2007 was bat shit insane.
She was quite hot, but my god the insanity. She poked holes in condoms. Accused me of cheating on her and even had a private investigator follow me around to see if I was cheating. She then cheated on me as “preemptive” action because in her mind I was fucking all these other girls.

All the while she planned this elaborate wedding and even forced me to go to church so she can get this downtown fancy church place.

Fucking insane bitch. She was also the one who introduced me to the world of anal…. Yah thanks for that.

Cause anal isn't sinning.

[yray]

you missed out badhobz

how is she now?

[Badhobz]

Don’t know…. I dropped her like a stone and she went semi insane. I can’t find her on da internet cuz she has a really retarded name. Jennifer retard chan. There’s like a billion Jennifer retard Chans. I got tired sifting through the shit on fecesbook

[Razor Ramon HG]

Originally Posted by spoon.ek9

A few thoughts:

1. Girls have been trying to teach each other that coffee dates are low effort and only done by broke boys. In reality, there are many benefits to this style of a first date but many girls simply want you to "prove you're a provider" so something like this simply won't cut it. Do yourself a favour and walk away from girls who straight up demand a fancy dinner right off the bat.

2. the dollar amount spent on a dinner is difficult for those of you who've long been married for a very specific reason. with apps, you're literally talking about treating a total stranger to an expensive meal who is for SURE talking to multiple other dudes. this isn't the same as traditional dating where you got to know someone in person over the course or weeks/months/years and finally have the opportunity to take them out after already establishing mutual interest. so to expect us as men to shell out $200-$300 for a dinner with some rando is not a smart idea nor does it generally lead to any kind of success with said girl.

3. i find the general disconnect in dating these days stems from wanting all the traditional aspects of dating (picking them up, opening doors, paying for the meal) while providing none of the traditional things on their end themselves. girls are quick to tell you what men should do but try asking them (definitely can't tell them) what it is they think women should do and you'll see how high the double standards are nowadays.

4. I remember one girl on an app who was truthful on her profile and said she is currently pregnant with her ex's baby and that she is keeping it. You'd have to be an absolute idiot to walk into a situation like that or desperate AF. Even then, single moms also have extremely high standards and will gaslight you into believing you're lucky to even be considered (ask me how I know).


Takeaway message:

I can tell you from personal experience that paying for expensive dinners didn't lead to much of anything when I was still out there. Save your money for the girl who proves she's worth it.

I agree entirely with what you said. Wanting a woman's perspective, I asked my fiance what she thought and I'm just sharing what she said.

1. She said overall she agrees with what you said.

2. She said that coffee dates are so-so. Coffee dates are neutral with low risk, low intimacy. She would agree to a coffee date if she didn't think too much of the guy, but wanted to give it a shot or was bored. If vibes were good, it generally led to lunch after. She wouldn’t want a fancy dinner unless there was real compatibility.

3. She said that she tends to associate money with effort, but that's just her standard. She said for every one of her, there are tons of women out there that are happy to split the bill or have lower standards.

For what it's worth, I talked to my fiance nonstop for 3-4 days before we met up for happy hour at Cactus. I think the bill was $80 for a few appetizers and drinks. I don't think I would've taken her there if I didn't feel a real compatibility.

I wasn't sure about one girl so we just went for a coffee and walk around Central Park, lol.

TBH, there is nothing wrong if you want to spend hundreds of dollars on a first date. I think it's when men expect to get something back in return -- nothing is guaranteed.