[Confidential] how do i initiate first contact after scarring the ex girlfriend

[StanleyR]

I sounded a lot like OP when my first real relationship ended. I tried endlessly asking others what I should do. They all sounded like the above replies, and i didnt' wanna hear any of it.

Seriously, theses were my feelings dammit! and the only person I could share them with was now gone. I didn't know who to turn to for advise after 2.5 years of a shitty relationship.

But once I found my current gf, I finally found the enjoyment I was always looking for in the previous relationship. FINALLY I could lose my virginity, finally lose myself in someone who totally wanted every bit of my messed up self. I didn't think it was possible, but she was also a virgin at 20. boy we wasted many days just having sex...over and over and over again. It really made the wanting, waiting and suffering thru the shitty previous relationship for so long...seem kinda worthwhile in some strange way. I learnt a lot about myself, as well as the dating scene.

I'd never go thru that shit again, and i certainly hope I never have to again

[Ri2]

LOL at how the OP even thinks it's OK to initiate contact after admitting to "scarring" someone. 3 years is not a long time... I've seen marriages end over decades so stop being a pussy. In cases like this, it is up to her to want to reach out. You fucked up and you should leave her alone. You sound pretty controlling and/or desperate for her attention, this is not a good look.

At the most, I would advise some deep personal reflection then you can apologize for your actions (you must back up why you acted the way you did) but that's it. If you do send a single apology/explanation for your actions, don't expect anything further. When you reach out an olive branch to someone, you can't set up the expectation that anything will materialize from that..otherwise, you're not apologizing genuinely... you're just saying what you think needs to be said in order to receive a reaction therefore some sort of validation from this person.

PS: If you were my ex, I would just punch you in the face.

[BrRsn]

tl;dr

dat pussy gone meng

[Exc3L]

Originally Posted by Ri2

LOL at how the OP even thinks it's OK to initiate contact after admitting to "scarring" someone. 3 years is not a long time... I've seen marriages end over decades so stop being a pussy. In cases like this, it is up to her to want to reach out. You fucked up and you should leave her alone. You sound pretty controlling and/or desperate for her attention, this is not a good look.

At the most, I would advise some deep personal reflection then you can apologize for your actions (you must back up why you acted the way you did) but that's it. If you do send a single apology/explanation for your actions, don't expect anything further. When you reach out an olive branch to someone, you can't set up the expectation that anything will materialize from that..otherwise, you're not apologizing genuinely... you're just saying what you think needs to be said in order to receive a reaction therefore some sort of validation from this person.

PS: If you were my ex, I would just punch you in the face.

If only everyone could think this way. Some exes are just psychotic, and don't realize what they're putting the other person through. Selfish mentality.