OFFICIAL 2026 New Year, New Me! Health and Wellness Accountability Thread

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by whitev70r

Thanks for sharing and sorry to hear of troubles. I don't usually like to offer 'suggestions' but your sleeping, have you got tested for sleep apnea?

- Already doing chiro
- No for sleep apnea, re-testing this year again

I have a huge list of things to test for to figure this out, can't wait for the day I'm not sleepy 24/7.




PR'd on my 10KM after running 5.5KM, 1 hour prior at the run clerb. Kinda fucked how the only time I'm awake is when I'm exercising or outside.

Spoiler!

If I'm single at EOY, I'll do 100KM's on my bday

Originally Posted by mikemhg

Besides, Gerbs, BIC, and I are going after different demos, I honestly don't think I want another Asian chick anytime soon, hate to say it. Cultures matter, I might be better with the whites
l

Send me your asians

[SSM_DC5]

Originally Posted by spoon.ek9

IIRC she's an RN which means fulltime is a six figure job. Debt is another issue.

She was claiming raking in 10g's a month or something! That's normal for RS baller, but no way is it RN normal.

[mikemhg]

Originally Posted by GS8

I'm no expert but it sounds like you're experiencing ambiguous loss which in simplest terms means your mind doesn't have the closure it craves. There's 2 types which in my Phoenix University phantom graduate expertise tells me you're experiencing both kinds of ambiguous loss: physical and psychological.

Physical because the relationship is physically over but you're racking your brain over what happened. Where did it begin to go south? Was it one event? Was it me? Her? Etc etc. Your mind wants control over this situation but it cant because there's too many variables, leaving a conclusion to be ambiguous in nature. Also, you know she'll still be around but what willll she be like moving forward. Will she miss you? Will she regret it? Or will she move on like a Road Runner? From her perspective it's irrelevant because your mind is concocting all these questions.

Psychological because you're feeling the loss of how the relationship was at its best. The memories, the planning and just overall moments when you 2 felt indestructible together.

In the chapters we write in our mental autobiographies, we always seek a closure to that chapter before starting the next one. It's just how our brains process order in our world. But when it comes to ambiguous loss, it's like putting items in a box but you lost the lid and now have no way to seal the box because it requires that one specific lid and without it, your box isn't as ordered as you want because it can fall, get crushed etc.

Anyway, sorry to hear but deep down, I knew this would be the result. It sounded like the tension was already there. The gasoline was already spilt. Question isn't who had the match, it's who dropped the match.

Physically and biologically, women are awesome. Socially? Fucking venomous. Being gay would be easier (except for monkey pox).

Damn you really encapsulated everything in one post, I'm quite impressed.

That is exactly how I'm feeling.

Thinking about everything is keeping me up at night, sleeping issues and everything. I feel naked right now. I know I need to let it go, but without proper closure it's tough. I just keep wondering what was real and what wasn't, how long all this stuff was going on? I'm finding even some of her friends have reached out to me indicating how they found her social media usage to be problematic and unbecoming of someone in a relationship. Now it all makes sense, all the sexualized story posts, the photos, it was the obvious masquerading for all the men she was secretly talking to.

I already know she's going on another date with some old Italian dude this weekend when I'm in Mexico, he owns a restaurant downtown and looks like Jeff Bezos. I can't even think of going on a date or entertaining another woman right now, it guts me to think she can be so cavalier and callous and move on so quickly and easily, it hurts a lot. I suppose she feels at 38 she has to hit the ground running and find that wealthy guy that will pay all the bills and give her that baby.

I've sent her a message a few days ago about coordinating her move out with a friend of mine to get the keys, and so I can settle on any things we've purchased together, complete radio silence. That part really sucks.

She de-activated her Instagram for now, I went for coffee with her sister last week and apparently the only thing she was worried and focused on was whether I'd try to ruin her reputation by posting about her on Facebook or some website and air her out, which is the last thing I'd ever do. We've known each other for 6 years, she knows I'm the last person to ever be so messy and do something like that to her, not a chance. I don't even want to convey what I read and found out about even on this forum, for that very reason. I guess I sort of wished she cared more about what she was doing and what she did to me, as opposed to that, but that's how it goes. I can't help but wonder if she's hurting as bad as I am right now?

As for the financials, I think that one is a moot point -- we both earn well and have pensions, we'd both likely equally lose the same on that one, so I doubt there's any intentions there. I'll give her that credit, I don't think she's that type, but rather the "twist the knife in and show you I don't give a fuck about you", borderline personality disorder in many ways, with the ease of going frigid cold.

She still has the keys to my place to move her stuff out while I'm away, my friends keep saying she'll trash it or do something. I don't think that's her character, so I'm not worried about it, coming home will certainly be a surprise to see what I'll need to replace, though

I really do hope her and I can speak at some point so I can just understand things better and get some closure as to why she went so far off the deep end, there wasn't a need for all these lies and deception, we're both grown ass adults.

Anyways, Revscene has been quite cathartic during this whole thing, and I really do appreciate the words from everyone.

Mexico this Friday, a good group of 7 of us. I need to turn around all this damn depression.

[MarkyMark]

Women generally mourn the relationship far before they let you know it's over. She was probably hurting at some point, but chances are it was before she decided to start doing whatever inappropriate shit you caught her doing.

Regardless, she's not helping the stigma female nurses seem to have, maybe steer clear of them when you decide to start seriously dating again.

[SSM_DC5]

Do you need the RS beat down crew to supervise the move out? We could see if Berz is up for it. Or hobz, but he might empty your fridge in the process.

[Badhobz]

me helrp Mikey! me good at standing there looking soft... like a pillsbury doughgay.

very intimidating cuz i look like i can bake valentines day cookies.



HE HE (poke me and die motherfucker!!!!)

[68style]

Originally Posted by mikemhg

I can't help but wonder if she's hurting as bad as I am right now?

Dude believe me, the amount of unhealthy behavour she's exhibiting toward people in her life she cares about nevermind the damage she's doing to her own self shows she's hurting really bad inside... she just hasn't figured out how to deal with it yet.

She's too focused on herself right now, full on narcissistic tendencies... when time passes and she takes a moment to think back she's going to feel hella bad for what happened.

[Traum]

Mike,

Again, I'm sorry to hear the wave and mixture of emotions that you are going through right now, and your mere description of them is reminding me of the very same demons that I have fought through in the past. If I am hearing you correctly, you seem to be saying -- intentionally or not -- that you are going through some amount of self-doubting as well. I remember what that was like, and it was some very dark times that I'd never want myself or any of my friends to go through.

You may or may not be aware of this already, but I'm gonna say it out anyway -- in hindsight, my mind was not in the right place and wasn't capable of thinking things through properly because of all the emotional turmoil. I wasn't aware of this it at the time at first, but when the clouds cleared a lot later down the line and in subsequent relationships where the relationship had collasped again, I gradually came to the realization that it wasn't just my emotional thinking that got all screwed up; my logical thinking also got all screwed up bcos the emotional side got all screwed up. I supposed we'd all have to find our own ways to deal with this, but at least I want to stress the importance of knowing that you are probably not thinking straight on many different fronts right now.

Take care, and I wish you a speedy rediscovery of your balance again.

[mikemhg]

^I appreciate it Traum, I do.

I'm a confident and outgoing guy, but as of late my self-esteem has been in the dumpster.

Both my uncle and aunt passed away 5 days apart from each other in November, she was with me at the funeral in Gibsons. In December, we had to finally put my mother into long-term care due to her late stage dementia, she's really only with us in the physical form, and not so much mentally anymore. She knows I've been in the dregs the last few months due to all of that, and with this breakup I feel like I'm losing 4 close loved ones all in quick succession. That's what messing me up the most, how did she feel so comfortable doing all this behind my back while I'm going through so much grief and pain?

For the last two months it's been "I want a man that will pay for all the bills", "my ex paid for this and this for his new girl, bought her a car, pays for all their vacations, bought them a house" (he's a drug dealer), "I want a more traditional Asian dynamic in my relationship, and you don't offer that", "it won't be hard to find a man that pays for everything."

Even a week before the big blow up, she'd be going out, coming home late, then telling me the next day how one of her Asian friend's boyfriend paid for everyone's dinner and drinks, a massive bill, and how "that's Asian culture".

I've always been generous with friends and happy to grab the bill, but I'm not going to go out every weekend and drop $2k on a bunch of ungrateful random chicks, it's simply not feasible. All this obsession with money has made me feel lesser than, and brought out some serious deep seated insecurities.

As a kid, I was raised by a single mother, we didn't have much. My HK buddies in school all had nice houses, and I used to wish I was Chinese when I was a kid, so we could be wealthy like them. They used to clown that we lived in a co-op, and I'd get my mom to drop me off up the street from school because our brown beater car embarrassed me.

As an adult I've done well for myself, and I've never had a woman make me feel so small. I find myself second guessing myself, "should I have bought her that $10,000 ring she wanted, "should I have agreed to pay all the bills and have a baby", all this stupid self destructive shit. I'm not going to lie, I even held by shotgun one night contemplating some seriously dark thoughts.

I'm slowly trying to get better now, once she's moved all her stuff out, I'm hoping that will help, and the new pup I'm rescuing will open a new muse to focus on.

I've probably been way too honest here, but alas a trauma dump for Traum

[MarkyMark]

It's gonna take a good amount of time Mike but one day you'll look back and be greatful you dodged that bullet. Even if you gave her what she wanted she would keep upping the ante from the sound of it.

[Gerbs]

I cover my friends for hotpots or random events when I host. Do it 5-6x a year and it's around a decent local vacation a year. Always pondered how much you'd have to have to consistently cover a $1-2K+ bill a few times a year like girlfriends friends.


A new dating issue that's been arising the last 6 months amongst friends is girls comparing their man to social media's idealization of "as he should"
- buying $200-1000+ flowers
- buying cars
- nice dinners weekly
- international vacation paid


It seems like "provider" these days means they want you to pay for her shit as if you've already had 3 kids and wived, but at year 0-3 of dating.

[bcrdukes]

What is the difference between dating and paid companionship these days?

[Badhobz]

Paid companionship is better sex

[Vancouver240sx]

YouTube

Rich

[CivicBlues]

Originally Posted by mikemhg

^I appreciate it Traum, I do.

I'm a confident and outgoing guy, but as of late my self-esteem has been in the dumpster.

Both my uncle and aunt passed away 5 days apart from each other in November, she was with me at the funeral in Gibsons. In December, we had to finally put my mother into long-term care due to her late stage dementia, she's really only with us in the physical form, and not so much mentally anymore. She knows I've been in the dregs the last few months due to all of that, and with this breakup I feel like I'm losing 4 close loved ones all in quick succession. That's what messing me up the most, how did she feel so comfortable doing all this behind my back while I'm going through so much grief and pain?

For the last two months it's been "I want a man that will pay for all the bills", "my ex paid for this and this for his new girl, bought her a car, pays for all their vacations, bought them a house" (he's a drug dealer), "I want a more traditional Asian dynamic in my relationship, and you don't offer that", "it won't be hard to find a man that pays for everything."

Even a week before the big blow up, she'd be going out, coming home late, then telling me the next day how one of her Asian friend's boyfriend paid for everyone's dinner and drinks, a massive bill, and how "that's Asian culture".

I've always been generous with friends and happy to grab the bill, but I'm not going to go out every weekend and drop $2k on a bunch of ungrateful random chicks, it's simply not feasible. All this obsession with money has made me feel lesser than, and brought out some serious deep seated insecurities.

As a kid, I was raised by a single mother, we didn't have much. My HK buddies in school all had nice houses, and I used to wish I was Chinese when I was a kid, so we could be wealthy like them. They used to clown that we lived in a co-op, and I'd get my mom to drop me off up the street from school because our brown beater car embarrassed me.

As an adult I've done well for myself, and I've never had a woman make me feel so small. I find myself second guessing myself, "should I have bought her that $10,000 ring she wanted, "should I have agreed to pay all the bills and have a baby", all this stupid self destructive shit. I'm not going to lie, I even held by shotgun one night contemplating some seriously dark thoughts.

I'm slowly trying to get better now, once she's moved all her stuff out, I'm hoping that will help, and the new pup I'm rescuing will open a new muse to focus on.

I've probably been way too honest here, but alas a trauma dump for Traum

Betcha all those HK guys you grew up wish they were you now .

But wow, she sounded like a real piece of work. Bullet. dodged. Expected to drop 2k for her friends at dinner is insane I don't even know what I'd say I think I'd probably just get up and walk out the door. So sad how the latest generation has regressed with female liberation, I mean I suppose age 38 is still my generation but it sounds like she's reading off the Gen-Z tradwife playbook. It used to be "equal pay for equal work!", now it's "hon you betta pay if you wanna play". At that point what's the diff between that and paying for regular escorts?

[red kryptonite]

Originally Posted by EvoFire

Dude that's not sustainable.

i know but its just to offset some extra calories ill be consuming over the weekend.
im all about unsustainable crash diets.

sat: i skipped food/shakes entirely until dinner on vday. steak, lobster, mashed potatoes, dessert, that's well into the 2xxx calories.

sun: under 900 cal.

today: dim sum with the fam, who knows how many cal. light dinner, 3 eggs and some broccoli 200 cal.

tomorrow: family dinner, who knows how many cal... probably skip lunch.

[red kryptonite]

Originally Posted by mikemhg

Even a week before the big blow up, she'd be going out, coming home late, then telling me the next day how one of her Asian friend's boyfriend paid for everyone's dinner and drinks, a massive bill, and how "that's Asian culture".

I've always been generous with friends and happy to grab the bill, but I'm not going to go out every weekend and drop $2k on a bunch of ungrateful random chicks, it's simply not feasible. All this obsession with money has made me feel lesser than, and brought out some serious deep seated insecurities.

is that really asian culture though?!?!
im ok with playing the "provider" role but why the fuck would i "provide" for her friends too? is she gonna give me a free pass to bang them too?

[BIC_BAWS]

Originally Posted by mikemhg

Even a week before the big blow up, she'd be going out, coming home late, then telling me the next day how one of her Asian friend's boyfriend paid for everyone's dinner and drinks, a massive bill, and how "that's Asian culture".

How convenient she left out all the downsides of "Asian culture". I just watched a movie about 40-50 year olds (so most of u guys on RS) who moved to Canada for a better life and all the shit they had to endure. It highlighted the toxicity between their parents and them, all the bickering and comparing, all the negativity and not being able to stand up for yourself because it's within the culture.

"Asian culture" is largely showing off who's a bigger baller for face. I know someone who dropped G65 AMG money on a wedding and complained about the guests who "only gave $100" for red pocket lol. I also know someone else, who's bf at the time "paid for everyone's dinner and drinks - a massive bill", but it was really the gf's money and her CC lol.

You don't want that bullshit anyway. She's stupid for thinking she'll be treated well long-term with that mentality. That quickly turns into dependency on your man for purchases, needing permission to buy things/do things, pretty much my childhood before my mom started her own business. You'll get your revenge when "my mans paid for everyone" turns into "my man is the man of the house so I have to listen and stfu" :eyeroll:

Originally Posted by mikemhg

As a kid, I was raised by a single mother, we didn't have much. My HK buddies in school all had nice houses, and I used to wish I was Chinese when I was a kid, so we could be wealthy like them. They used to clown that we lived in a co-op, and I'd get my mom to drop me off up the street from school because our brown beater car embarrassed me.

I relate to the growing up in a co-op so much. Recently I had an acquaintance ask about how I can afford to have a house - you guys know the truth to this. And then they said some shit, in which I replied with, I wish I had your kind of privilege to just pay rent at home and have the freedom to move out whenever I want to without worrying about how my parents are gonna pay their bills.

[bcrdukes]

That's some weird ass Asian culture but not unheard of.

When I go out with my friends here in Vancouver, we just take turns covering the bill. Mandatory fight for the bill because Asian, but otherwise, there's no dollar amount being tallied or anything like that. We get together to celebrate our friendship and talk shit about people on RS. Then again, it's like, three or four guys and their spouses, not a huge gaggle of people and $2000 dinners. I should be on BrokeScene.net.

Any how, happy lunar new year, you freeloading elderly abusing jerks!

[whitev70r]

I think Mikey means Filipino culture which is definitely a lot more showy, BIG, live on debt than other Asian cultures like Canto or thrifty Chinamen ... but then what do I know, I could be wrong.

[Badhobz]

^yah..... what the hell do you know about it ya.. white guy spy guy you!?!??!?

Asian culture, like most cultures are full of idiotic stupidities.

The whole filial piety thing can suck a dick.
So much for family values, you should see the infighting about money and properties back home in shanghai when grandma or grandpa goes and their house is now worth 30 million CAD... all of a sudden all these people come out of the woodworks claiming how much they cared for the dead corpses and how they deserve a share too. I DIDNT GET SHIT!!!!! where the fuck is my god damn share!?!? (p.s i also didnt do shit, i havent seen my grandparents since i was ... 10? whatever, i carry our last name!!! GIVE MONEY NAO!!)

Whatever, she's just using culture as a crutch for her shitty behaviour. Goooood luck finding a guy willing to pay for all your shit, idiots like that are long taken and nobody wants a nearly 40 year old bitch.

[bcrdukes]

Weaponizing culture as a means =

[CivicBlues]

Mike you should have responded: "Why don't you go date an Asian guy instead?" and see the look on her face.

and wtf is "Asian culture" anyways? Don't lump my culture in with those heathen North Koreans and Azerbaijanis !!

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by bcrdukes

What is the difference between dating and paid companionship these days?

Been thinking the same since dating has went up 100% in costs since 2021 vs 2026. Younger girls 19 - 25 offer to pay at least 25-33% of the time, when I was previously single. Now I at 25-28 range, out of 7 girls recently, only 2 offered. Maybe in their head they're like oh, he has two cars, business and his own place, he should pay cause he has money. Which is not fully true!

Wrote it off as cost of being 30, pay 2 play like Porsche.

Also noticed
- more ghosting
- OLD Vancouver 24-28 asian pool is dead
- Toronto pool looks 10x better, but 3x population
- talked to 7 girls in person in the last month, 4 turned into numbers, success rate is pretty high
- expectations from social media retardedly high, but valentines day content + delulu friends don't help
- Is expecting $35-75+ dinner + drinks or activity weekly a dating norm, I already miss turtling at home lol

[unit]

picking up a 2k tab for your girlfriends friends... miss me with that shit.
thinking asian culture means 'crazy rich asians' is not normal asian culture.
treating your friends is one thing but treating a big group of people you barely know is ridiculous.